Chapter
Three
Return
I had to admit that I was glad that my life didn’t get drastically different the next few days, mostly because it meant that Aphrodite was leaving me alone for the time being. Sure, I had to deal with Phoebe and her weird mood swings – I was a little confused when I returned home from school that day only to have her snapping at me again over some trivial wedding nonsense, almost as though she had completely forgotten about our little heart-to-heart – and it seemed questionable at best, but that was something personal that I could deal with in order to keep my mind off my current situation. After all, I was used to my sisters’ antics, and this, really, wasn’t much different from what they normally did. I kept my guard up because I just knew they were setting me up for something, and that Phoebe just kept forgetting to play her part.
I didn’t mind, though. Those times when she was nice to me had me imagining what it’d be like to have a normal, caring sister rather than the she-devils I was currently stuck with.
Still, though, it was annoying, since I couldn’t tell how she’d act at any given time. I didn’t like walking on eggshells around my sister, hoping against hope that maybe this time would be the time she was actually concerned about my well-being. Of course, knowing Phoebe, she probably was more than she was letting on – unlike Penny, she actually was a little concerned about me and my lack of normal social standards. Yes, she made fun of me for it, but the mere fact that she sometimes had to think of an insult suggested that she was more concerned than she was showing. Not like it mattered in the long run – she still hated me to some degree – but I had to wonder if this change was actually her coming to the realization, as she said, that she should live her life differently, and that the change was just coming slowly after an entire lifetime of tormenting me.
Or maybe this was something else entirely, and it had nothing to do with my sister. I considered that possibility as well, and I couldn’t remember reading of a god influencing a mortal in that manner before. Seducing, sure, and taking on the form of a loved one, certainly, but I sincerely hoped that Eros, or any other god for that matter, wasn’t taking on the form of my sister to seduce me. Or, I suppose the case would be, make my life a little more livable. It creeped me out more than anything else. I was used to having horrible sisters. I wasn’t sure how to act around one that actually cared about me.
Still, it gave me something else to focus on, on top of my schoolwork. I had a few papers and projects that I needed to complete, and I threw myself into my work just so I wouldn’t have time to think. Considering this was my first semester in college, no one thought it was odd that I was so focused on school work, although I was a bit of a procrastinator in high school. I found I could focus better with a looming deadline rather than getting it done little by little, and my grades were never affected by it. It was just that if I had too much free time, I found, my mind would start to wander, and I’d find myself staring at the window, wondering if Zephyrus would be there to catch me if I happened to jump out,
I wasn’t too sure. On the one hand, I didn’t think he was mad at me for anything. But on the other, I still wasn’t sure how Eros felt about this whole situation, and he could have turned Zephyrus against me. And it wasn’t like I had a death wish or anything. I didn’t actually want to test my theory. I didn’t need people thinking I was suicidal because I happened to jump out a window for no particular reason.
And I certainly didn’t want Mom to think I was doing it because Felipe rejected me or anything. I wouldn’t even consider ending it if Eros rejected me, come to think about it. Sure, I’d be depressed for a whole, but I was fairly certain I’d come to the realization that it wasn’t worth it, and move on with my life. Or at least I hoped I will. I mean, considering I was the reincarnation of his wife, it was hard to tell. For all I knew, my entire existence could stem from me loving Eros.
Of course, most of my incarnations rejected him, and went on to live normal lives, so it was hard to tell. Obviously I could handle rejecting him, but how would I react to him rejecting me. But then again, I was clearly different from the other incarnations, so it was really hard to tell. I was the first one to actually feel something for him, after all. But I still couldn’t tell if that was a good or a bad thing.
These were the sort of thoughts to consume my non-occupied mind, so it made sense for me to make sure I didn’t have much to think about. Not like it helped, since I still had bedtime, a time when there was nothing else to keep my mind busy. I found myself thinking about everything without realizing it, and naturally, I continued to sleep horribly. I couldn’t fall asleep, and when I did, I was still plagued by my nightmarish past lives. Each one was different – most of the time, I realized, Eros didn’t actually interact with me, but I would see him lurking about, looking sad. My past life didn’t even realize he was there most of the time, or else thought he was some sort of creeper. But my mind recognized him for who – and what – he was, and I was able to see him better than any of my other past lives.
Add on the fact that I was still looking over my shoulder, waiting for Aphrodite to dump a trial on me, and it was really amazing no one really figured out anything was wrong.
“Psyche,” Phoebe flittered up to me one more about a week after all this started. I was looking – and feeling – a little like death warmed over, but Phoebe seemed to be in one of her moods in which she didn’t notice. “We’re going out to pick bridesmaid dresses this afternoon.”
“Seriously? Do you even have a dress?” I asked her, feeling irritated.
She laughed delighted. “Of course not! We’re still trying to, like, find the right designer and crap. No one seems to want to work with my vision. What a bunch of losers.”
“Well, maybe if you toned down the dress slightly, you’d have more luck?” I suggested. I’d seen the sketch Phoebe had made for her dress. It looked like something a five year old would want for her princess wedding, actually. I had a feeling she hadn’t changed her design too much since then, only adding the plunging neckline as she got older.
She sniffed. “It’s my wedding, and I want my dress to be perfect. Is that too much to ask?”
“Oh no,” I said a little sarcastically. “Actually, all I was saying was take out some of the lace and maybe not make it as poofy? Maybe make it something you could actually move in? Or maybe, just maybe, you could see what other designers want to do, and see if maybe they design something you like better?”
“Penny didn’t have to compromise, and she decided to get married with only a week to plan!”
I rolled my eyes. “And yet, she couldn’t have told any of us in that week. But you also have to remember that there wasn’t actually much to Penny’s wedding dress.” We had all seen it in the less reputable magazines. It showed exactly everything that Penny didn’t want to keep private, and hinted at the things most people only wanted their husbands to see. But the thing of it was that Penny had actually had the dress designed long before she even met Donald, like she had always planned on getting married that quick. “As far as I can tell, you at least want to be classy with your dress design.”
“I want it to be something people talk about,” she said, grinning. “But, you know, not like how they talked about Penny’s dress. I want positive talk.”
“If you actually find a designer willing to work with your design they’ll talk, and none of it’ll be good,” I said dryly.
“Really?” She looked a little concerned. “Oh, what do you know? You don’t even have a boyfriend. You’ll get married in an old ladies dress because you’ll be an old lady,”
“I could just not be in your dumb wedding, you know,” I shot back. “And then you’ll have an odd number of bridesmaids.”
She gasped. “Fine, fine,” she grumbled. “What time does your class let out? Daddy says that this can’t interrupt your school or else he won’t pay for it, and I’m like whatever! It’s not like skipping a few classes would hurt her! But rules are rules, I guess. Some of the girls are annoyed that we have to wait for you, but,” she shrugged, “we’d probably have to wait anyway.”
“You know what? Why don’t you not wait for me, and just make sure you get something that can be modest on me. I doubt your friends would want to me around me anymore than I want to be around them. And don’t let Penny pick anything out for me.”
“God, no. I mean, you can’t be prettier than me, naturally, but I don’t want any of my bridesmaids looking like trolls. But come on, Psy, you have to go! It’s, like, a part of being a bridesmaid!”
I let out a sigh, knowing she wasn’t going to give up that easily. She, for whatever reason, seemed to be intent on keeping this wedding ‘traditional’, and if she perceived it as a tradition, she wanted to do it. And apparently having all her bridesmaids pick out the dress was a tradition or something. So I went ahead and told her what time I expected to be bad that day just to shut her up, and she went on her merry little way, plotting out the day as she went.
I envied her. I wish I was that empty headed that my biggest worry was getting my sister to tell me what time she got out of class. Never mind that all she had to do was look it up on my family’s schedule. That required work.
“God, you look like a mess,” Maddie said to me when I met her outside our History class. “I thought you were trying to act like you weren’t having mother issues with your potential boyfriend.”
I laughed dryly. “I wish it were that simple. We’re looking for dresses afterschool, and Phebes is forcing me to go. Everything wedding related’s free game in terms of filming me, and I get to be caught up in the middle of their drama. And this is the sort of thing that Penny doesn’t have to do a thing in order to produce drama.”
She laughed at that. “That’s an episode I’d love to see. Them cat fighting it out over dress designs, and you just sitting in the background, looking like you’d rather be anywhere else but there. That’s entertainment right there.”
“Penny’s going to be brutal, though, just for the benefit of the cameras. I already figured out that she’s going to find the raunchiest dresses to put me in, just for a good laugh. I don’t have anything to hold anything up, Maddie!”
“I think you look fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And so what if Penny attempts to make a fool out of you? All that’ll happen is that she’ll come across as a royal bitch, and everyone watching the show’ll knew it. It’s Phoebe that’ll matter in the end.”
“I already mentioned I wanted to be in something modest,” I pointed out. “I mean, I doubt it’ll happen, but like I said, I don’t have anything to hold anything up, not compared to the other bridesmaids. I’ll stick out like a sour thumb anyway. But she’s going for looks, so at least I know whatever’s on me will at least look good.”
“I don’t know; both your sisters tend to have weird opinions on what looks good,” she said, cocking her head slightly. “They think anything sexy is perfect. I’ve seen your sister’s dress design. Anything lower, and she’s be having major wardrobe malfunctions the entire time.”
I shook my head. “Phebes is better than Penny. She wants attention for her actions, not because of flashing some boob. She tends to wear things that at least hold everything in.”
“I suppose this is true,” Maddie allowed. “Penny seems to want to create a scandal without looking like she is, whereas Phoebe just wants to be caught on camera someplace cool.”
I laughed. “Pretty much,” I said, smiling slightly. “And yet, whose the one who gets more exposure? Of course, that might be because she’s the oldest.”
“And no one cares about the youngest, although she is the most interesting,” Maddie said completely seriously. “It’s a pity, really.”
“Most people are more interesting than my sisters, but most of them are never in front of a camera their entire lives. I’m trying to live like them, not like my camera hungry peers.”
“You like the spotlight, and you know it,” she teased. “The lights, the attention, the way people expect you to be something you’re not…”
“You’re such a dork, Maddie,” I said to her as the class before us let out, and we were able to sneak into the classroom and wait for the professor.
I really, really wished that I had some excuse not to go home that day, but I knew I’d never hear the end of it if I didn’t come home when I said I would. She would know I was a avoiding her. But it was nice to have my usual worry around me that day on campus rather than my new one. This one, at least, made sense, and the few people who asked me what was wrong got a straight answer. The problem was that they didn’t understand why it was such a hassle to try on a bunch of pretty dresses.
“You love it, don’t lie,” Maddie said to me once my classes were over for the day. I was dragging my feet going home, of course, and Maddie had no problem following me around campus for a bit. “You try to act like your just one of the crowd, but you love trying on pretty dresses.”
“Of course I do.” It was one of my many vices, the thrill of looking pretty. Half the time that was the only way Papa could get me excited about going to formal affairs or to join him on the red carpet. “But I only like trying on dresses when Penny isn’t around. It takes the thrill out when someone’s constantly degrading you.”
“Like you’d take fashion advice from Penny.”
“I’m serious. It’s hard to feel pretty when someone’s got to make some derogatory comment at you in everything you wear. She’s been doing it since I was six. You know that family picture we have that you make fun on because I look like I’m about to cry? That’s the first time she did it. Mom and Papa made such a huge deal about how pretty I looked in my dress for the picture that I wouldn’t wait to get to wear it and have my picture taken, and Penny goes and ruins it my saying I looked like a monkey in a straight jacket!”
“Oh God, I think I remember that. And what, she’s only gotten better with her insults?”
“Well, not really,” I admitted. “But they still hurt.”
She stopped me. “Seriously, Psyche, I don’t know why you hell you’d listen to her. You know you’re a smart, beautiful young lady that has nothing on her. So why let her get to you?”
“Because she’s bringing down my vice,” I muttered. “I know I shouldn’t, but…I don’t know; it just hurts more when I actually feel pretty, and she tries to tear me down. It’s like…what sister would actually do that?”
“Yours obviously. But,” she laughed slightly, “this is actually good.”
“It is?” I asked, annoyed.
“Yes. You’re focusing on old problems rather than your new problem. And you’re acting like your old self again!”
“So basically what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t come to you with boy problems?”
She looked freaked out. “No, no, I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying that this is a nice change of pace, complaining about Penny and Phoebe rather than…well, you know. It’s good to get your mind off it for a while. You can get a fresh perspective that way. See how to handle things better when you’re not obsessing over it every five minutes.”
“Who’s to say I’m not?” I demanded, since, even though my thoughts were occupied most of the day over the dread of that afternoon, I still found myself searching for that feeling that I was being watched. It had become habit, and once I caught myself, I found myself thinking of Eros and how he was doing again. The whole reason I was upset about the whole dress thing was merely because I was trying to keep my mind focused on it.
“Geeze, Psyche, seriously?” She shook her head. “I don’t care what anyone else says; you have it bad for this boy. I half what to meet him just to make sure it’s worth all the fuss. Not, um, like I don’t think he is or anything,” she added hastily when I shot her a look. “It’s just my duty as your best friend, that’s all.”
I shook my head at her this time, and we continued on for a few steps, lost in thought. She was probably trying to think of a conversation that wouldn’t insult me somehow, and I was just struggling to keep my worry down.
As it happened, I wasn’t paying that much attention to my surroundings when Maddie suddenly stopped dead. “Oh. My. God,” she said under her breath in a tone that caught me up short.
“What?” I asked, startled, not sure how the hell to take the tone.
“Over there,” she said, nodding down the sidewalk. “That guy over there. He’s just…wow.”
I glanced in the direction she was gesturing, and my heart literally skipped a beat. There, standing in the shade of one of the many trees that lined the sidewalk, stood Eros. He was looking nonchalant, sunglasses hiding his brilliant blue eyes, and ignoring all the girls who sighed in his general direction. He looked so out of place to me – somehow being a guy, he was able to pull off wearing shorts despite the decreasing temperature – and yet somehow, he just had the look of a hot foreign college student.
But mostly what set him apart from everyone else on campus, other than his dark skin and light hair, was the fact that he seemed to have a pair of pure white, but transparent, wings.
I blinked in surprise when I noticed them, but judging from how everyone was reacting – like lovesick fools rather than running in fear – I gathered I was the only one who actually saw them.
I glanced back at Maddie to see her sort of pining after him, and I felt a flash of annoyance, although I knew Maddie couldn’t help it. “Um,” I said slowly, grabbing her attention. “That’s Eros.”
That really caught her attention. “That…that’s Eros?” she said, glancing back and forth between us for a second. “Oh my God, Psyche. He’s…oh my God, he must be here for you!” She looked excited now before giving me a sly look. “I think I’ll head back to my room now, okay, Psyche? Don’t have too much fun now, okay?”
“I, what?” I demanded as she pretty much sprinted away, looking delighted at her witty get away. I rolled my eyes at her, and took a deep breath. She was right in one regard: he was most likely here for me. But whether it was for a good or bad reason, I couldn’t tell, and I was a little afraid to find out.
I was glad to see that he wing seemed to be fine. He had it relaxed at his side, but it wasn’t bandaged or anything like that. But still, seeing it freaked me out a little. It just reminded me of what he was, and what I did, and I very nearly bolted after Maddie in cowardice rather than actually face him after what I did to him.
Don’t be ridiculous, Psyche, I told myself. He’s here for a reason, after all.
I just didn’t want to know what that reason was.
But curiosity, as well as what seemed like the entire female population on campus swooning at him, got the better of me, and I steeled myself before attempting to stroll over causally. “Hey,” I said, a slightly wobble in my tone. “What are you doing here?”
He turned to me in slight annoyance, probably annoyed that one of these girls would actually try to talk to him. He was maintaining an air of indifference, as though he was trying to get them to not want to talk to him, but that, of course, failed. It didn’t matter to some of these girls that he wanted to be left alone. He was hot, and that’s all that mattered to him. I wondered just how many actually tried. I could think of a few girls from my high school that wouldn’t have taken the hint, but none of them saw fit to go to college.
He lowered his sunglasses at the sight of me, offering me a glimpse of his beautiful eyes, and he looked both delighted and relived at the same time. I think he wanted to pounce on me as much I wanted to attack him, but he was better at maintaining the act. “Psyche,” he said without a hint on discomposure in his voice. “There you are. You ready to go?”
I watched in amazement as he actually put his arm around me, and I realized he was playing it off like he was waiting for his girlfriend or something, and I just nodded dumbly. I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on…but I sort of liked it.
He started guiding me down the sidewalk amidst annoyed glares from my female peers. But I didn’t think they could help it, unfortunately. Eros just had that way about him. I was surprised Maddie was able to run away like she was. “You’re not…mad at me?” I muttered at him.
He lowered his sunglasses again. “For what?” he asked softly.
“Well…I broke your wing, didn’t I?”
He flexed his shoulder, which caused his wing to flutter slightly. “Yeah, what of it?”
I felt my stomach roll a little. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” I insisted, trying to stop. He forced me to keep walking, looking amused.
“Psyche, please; I’m a god, remember? A little broken wing’s not going to bother me. I mean, sure, burning my wing was much worse, but I had been more surprised at the fact that she’s go against my word than actually hurt. You didn’t have the same restrictions as she did. I was more surprised when you disappeared on me like that.”
“So…you’re not mad at me? You’re not worried that I’m repeating the same mistakes your wife did, and will eventually leave you as well?”
He chuckled. “You have a very active imagination, Psyche; I’ve forgotten about that. No, I’m not mad at you, and I think the mere fact that you were worried about me sort of suggests I have nothing to worry about in regards to you leaving me like she did. You can relax now; I don’t hate you.”
I found myself doing just that. “I’m sorry, it’s just that…I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. I wasn’t sure how badly I hurt you.”
“Well, it hurt like hell, I can tell you that, but it’s really nothing a little ambrosia couldn’t cure,” he told me. “The thing I’m more worried about is where you did disappear to. I was under the impression that little trick was something only us gods could do, not adorable little mortal girls.”
“You mean…you don’t know?”
He shook his head. “I thought maybe I had passed out or something and you freaked out. I searched the entire mansion, and the gardens, and had Zephyrus take me to Iris’ place just in case the idiot decided to hide you there. Iris was sort of annoyed that I’d think she’d let him hide a mortal in her house. By the time I came back from that disaster, you’re stuff was already gone, and I couldn’t seem to get a feel for you. It was really weird.”
“And it took you over a week to come and find me?”
He shrugged against me. “I might have been freaking out the entire time, at least until Zephyrus pointed out the fact that you’d still have to come to school. Considering the fact that neither of your parents are wigging out, I figured nothing actually happened to you, and there was nothing preventing me from physically seeing you.”
“I think I’m a little offended that you went to see my parents before you saw me.”
He laughed, a delightful sound. “I didn’t know what happened. The fact I couldn’t get a sense of you had me worried, since that could mean you were in the Underworld, or somewhere off planet. Judging your parents reactions would help me determine if you were still here or not. The only other explanation I have is that some other god is blocking my sense of you.”
“Probably your mother.”
“My mother? What makes you think that, aside from the obvious fact that she hates you?”
I let out a sigh. “Because that’s where I went when I disappeared. I think she was spying on us, and freaked out when she saw me break your wing. I found myself in her ballroom, and the next thing I knew, she was shrieking at me about hurting you and how she was right about me.”
This time he did stop, although I think it was more because we were now in front of my car. I hadn’t realized he was guiding me there. “She did what? Oh, God,” he said under her breath, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”
I waved him off. “It’s not your fault. I just thought you knew.”
“I doubt she’d tell me anything like that. She remembers how angry I was the last time she pulled this crap. What did she do to you?”
“Nothing,” I admitted, fumbling for my keys.
“Nothing,” he said dryly, unconvinced. “This is my mother we’re talking about. She had to have punished you somehow, even if you didn’t do anything wrong. And considering you let you go, she’s had to have administer it all ready.”
I sighed. “She’s repeating history, okay?”
“Repeating history? Psyche, she’s not making you go through trials to prove your worth, is she?”
“Of course she is. I repeated history by sneaking into your room and hurting you, didn’t I?”
“That’s completely different Psyche! I ran off then, hurt that my trust was betrayed! You didn’t betray me this time. I didn’t tell you not to come into my room or anything. She has no right. I’ll go talk to her, and get this straightened out.”
“I already agreed to do this,” I told him.
“It’s doesn’t matter. She shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.”
“I, um, asked for it, Eros,” I said sheepishly. “I asked for her to punish me for hurting you.”
“God, why would you do that, Psyche?” he demanded, annoyed. “You don’t ask a god for punishment! Now you’re stuck with it.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, dropping my head. “I just…I felt so terrible for hurting you, and then there’s Aphrodite in my face about it, and…I don’t know! It just seemed like the thing to do at the time, both to make me feel better about hurting you, and to get her out of my face!”
He ran his hand through his hair again, looking a little haggard. “This just…complicates things, Psyche. It was a foolish move.”
“I know; I’m sorry.”
He was silent for a long moment. “No, I’m sorry. I should have figured out my mother had something to do with your disappearing act and gone and stopped her. Nothing has anything on Mama when she’s pissed, so I don’t blame you for trying to shut her up. Has she done anything yet?”
I shook my head. “No, actually,” I said. “It didn’t take that long for your Psyche to start her tests, did it?”
He thought for a moment. “I don’t remember. It’s a story, anyway, and the times are generally off. But that still has me worried. Mama’s not really the patient sort. The longer you wait just means that she’s plotting something big.” He moved to take the keys out of my hand so he could open the car for me. I took the hint to slide in, moving to open the side door only to find him already in the passenger seat.
“I sort of figured that much already,” I said. “I’ve been worrying about that on top of wondering if you were mad at me or not.”
“This is all just messed up. I’m sorry you have to deal with all this. You’re a mortal; I should have protected you from the immortal world better.”
“I don’t mind,” I insisted. “I was apparently once a part of this world as well. Besides; it’s your world. If I want to have anything to do with you in the future, I should get used to it. I think the worst of it was worrying about your reaction.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?
“Do you want anything to do with me in the future?”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Of course I do,” I insisted. “I won’t have worried so much if I didn’t, Eros. Your one of the few people I’ve ever actually connected with. I wouldn’t want to give that up.”
He looked relived that I felt that way. “Well, I supposed there’s not much to do about this mess now other than wait.” He glanced at me. “She might have tried to prevent me from helping the first time, but she sure as hell can’t keep me away this time.”
“You’re going to help me?”
“Of course,” he said, glancing at me and giving me one of his heart-melting smiles. “I got you into this mess, and I’ll certainly get you out of it, and then we can figure out where to go from there. One step at a time, after all.”
I smiled back at him, unable to help myself. “I’m glad,” I told him. I had one less thing to worry about knowing that he didn’t hate me, and even less to worry about knowing that he’ll be at my side throughout this whole ordeal. I felt my heart relax, and suddenly felt as through Aphrodite’s trials weren’t going to be impossible after all.
The Trials of Psyche Chapter Three |