Chapter
Seven
Hedone
It was always great talking to Maddie about my problems, because then they didn’t seem quite like problems anymore. I don’t know if it was because Maddie tended to agree with me, or if it was because I was voicing my concerns to someone who was willing to listen to them. I figured that’s why I was able to deal with my sisters as long as I have without going utterly mental on anyone, because I always had Maddie there to complain to. I mean, it wasn’t exactly a one sided relationship there – I had heard enough of her complaints about her own family, the way she was treated in high school, and various other annoyances she had that it pretty much evened things out. That’s how she was able to stay level headed as well, despite the fact that she had more reason to have gone insane than I did.
But it was sort of weird to have Eros around as well. None of us had had anyone special in our loves before, nor any other close friends, so we never really had to share each other. We knew it was going to happen eventually, of course, although we argued about who it was going to happen to first. Both of us were actually antisocial enough that we didn’t really associate with guys too much, so it seemed pretty much up in the air most of our lives if we were ever going to be in a relationship. Given the fact that Maddie was more bubbly and more willing to talk to people, I had suspected that she was going to be first, but instead, I proved her right. But it didn’t make it any less weird.
But the truly weird part was the fact that Eros didn’t seem to mind hanging out with us. I always thought that I was still going to have special Maddie time when I had a boyfriend – I wasn’t going to allow an boyfriend of mine to try to control me and get all jealous when I wanted to spend time with my best friend and not solely him. But here was my special Maddie time basically being crashed by my apparent boyfriend who didn’t want to give me a moment alone. And I understood exactly why he didn’t want to.
And the thing was, I didn’t mind, because Maddie didn’t mind, and because I knew if I said something to him, he would in fact give us private time. Hanging out after school, discussing what was going on in my life, wasn’t really a time for privacy. It was something we were both going to have to get used to, although Maddie had gotten over herself faster than I had, and like I said, it was nice that Eros was willing to befriend my friend as well. It made things a little less awkward, if you ask me.
Of course, then there was the issue of Eros’ own best friend, and the fact that he seemed to be neglecting him in favor of me. But I guess Eros’ relationship with Zephyrus wasn’t as strong as my relationship with Maddie, and he was probably enjoying his time away from Eros’ obsessing. He’s spent the last fifteen hundred years reigning Eros in, from what I understood, and was probably grateful for the break. I could see him stretching out in that huge mansion all to himself, and just relaxing for a while. He deserved it, even if I found myself missing him as well, and sort of wishing I could see him for a little bit. I wasn’t sure how well Eros would take me wanting to see another guy, though.
Of course, my ranting about the task sort of dissolved in Maddie demanding to know as much about Eros’ life as he could muster up between questions, and I felt a little bad for him. The trial I had been given was really so lame that it didn’t really need to be discussed to death, and since we had no idea what the hell Aphrodite was planning now, there was no point in worrying about it. Well, beyond general worrying. Eros made sure to make the point that becoming complacent would just piss her off beyond reason, and the trail she would think of then would just be ridiculous. Of course I was going to worry about it, though – I had to prove myself to his mother in order to get her off my back, and I wanted to make sure I did a good job.
But there was just no point in obsessively worrying about it when I had no idea what exactly she was capable of. Most of her revenge myths seemed to involve idea that my sisters would think of to get revenge on people they feel are stealing their men, and I knew how to handle them. If Aphrodite was anything like my sisters – which I suspected she was, just nicer and with more sense – then anything she could dream up I could handle easily.
But I didn’t want her to know that, of course. That was part of my secret. I don’t know if they were, by chance, the reincarnations of the first Psyche’s sisters like Maddie suggested, or if I was just that unlucky, but I didn’t want Aphrodite to know the extent of my dealings with them. The first Psyche’s sisters didn’t seem as bad as mine – a little jealous, certainly, but not going so far as to constantly humiliate her. I could be wrong, of course, since there’s not much about the sisters other than the fact that they were the ones who talked Psyche into looking at Eros in the first place. Aphrodite could, in fact, know exactly what I could and couldn’t handle.
Then again, she did assign me that grain sorting task that she knew I had beaten already. So maybe she didn’t.
But it was sort of funny to watch Eros flounder a little under Maddie’s interrogation. He was careful not to reveal too much – I hadn’t asked him the sort of questions that she was currently, and I don’t think he wanted to offend me by revealing information I didn’t know yet. “So you are the son of Aphrodite and Ares, and not some primordial god created before the other gods?” she shot at him.
He laughed nervously. “No, I’m not, but there was actually another Eros that was created then who had my position. He sort of disappeared over the ages, so that when I was born and Mama named me after him, I was able to take up the position without any problems. A lot of the times when there’s a god with conflicting origins its because there was, in fact, two gods with the same name, and one just sort of…vanished. We’re not sure what happens then. Thankfully, there’s only been one Aphrodite, though. Mama just invented the whole castration and sea foam thing to make herself seem more impressive.”
“Do you have any siblings?” she asked, not taking time to process the information.
“He has plenty of siblings,” I laughed. “Aphrodite and Ares were both rather prolific gods, right?”
“Well, yeah. I have tones of half siblings. I do have four full blooded brothers, though. They called us the Erotes, the winged children of Aphrodite and Ares, all with influences over love.” He shook his head. “I have no freaking clue how I got lumped in with them, actually, since the only thing we all have in common is our parentage.”
“I didn’t even know you had full siblings,” I accused.
“You’re not doing your research, Psyche,” Maddie scolded. “If I were you and discovered my boyfriend was a god, I’d have gone on Wikipedia immediately to see what dirt I could find on him.”
“Wikipedia’s not that reliable, and besides, I wouldn’t be a myth expert if I had to search things up on the internet. Mythology’s not the whole story, anyway, Maddie. You think Wikipedia’s going to have anything about Psyche giving up her immortality so that I could be her reincarnation? There’s a lot more to it than that, and I figured it’d be better to get it from the source rather than from some third party site that allows anyone and everyone to edit it.”
“Well, I’m shocked you’re not the one demanding answers from him.”
“That’s the point of slowly getting to know one another. If I found out everything there is to know about him as soon as possible, then there’s nothing else to learn, and the relationship’ll get stale.”
“He knows everything about you. I’m willing to bet he was there when you were born. At least saw you in the hospital after he found out you had his wife’s soul.”
Eros looked a little embarrassed about that, which lead me to believe that he had, in fact, been in the hospital at least. But I think it was different for him, since he was a god. And yeah, he knew a lot about me already, but having spent life after life being rejected, having me accept him was different enough that I’m sure he’s realized that there might be some things he doesn’t know about me. And that it’ll be fun discovered exactly what those things were.
Unfortunately, I did have to go back home eventually, which is pretty much how I felt every time I had to leave. If I could just stay there, I would be happier, and I think Papa was slowly starting to regret making me stay at home now that Penny and Phoebe were acting like they were. I mean, I suppose if they decided to start their reality show a year, or even six months, earlier, he would have allowed me to escape from the situation. He saw how much it disrupted my life, and how eager Penny was to humiliate me, even if no one else was going to see it. but, for now, it was just something I had to put up with until they got bored with it, or it got canceled, and I wasn’t entirely too sure how long either would take. America loved its train-wrecks, so it might go on for a while.
While he didn’t exactly walk me out, considering I had come into the dorm by myself (and thus, it would look suspicious if I walked out with a strange man), he did opt to meet me outside the building and actually walk me back to the car. It was a bold move on his part, considering there were still quite a few girls roaming around campus even at this hour, and although the sun was setting, it gave just enough light that they were all able to ogle at Eros properly. He ignored it all, of course, focusing solely on me as we walked. He did take my hand, claiming himself as mine, and I could still see the disgusted looks on all the girls’ faces – and some of the guys – as we passed.
Of course, it wasn’t like I was unfortunately looking or anything, like they were wondering how someone as hot as he was ended up with someone as homely as me. Psyche had been considered the most beautiful girl in the known world in her day, and since I was carrying her soul, her beauty translated to me as well. Granted, I did think I was a little more homely than she was – I had more of a girl-next-door look with my dark brown hair, button nose, and freckles. But the girls on campus were annoyed that Eros was with me because we were both good looking people. It didn’t seem fair that two people looking like us seemed to always get together.
People had weird double standards. They’d be annoyed if I looked like them, and they were annoyed that I was pretty. I think they were just mad it wasn’t them.
I tried not to think about it as we walked, focusing on him like he was with me. It was surprisingly easy, actually; we still had so much to discuss that we somehow managed to avoid the sensitive topics on our lives.
“What are the odds that the film crew’ll be there when we get in?” I asked when we were about halfway home.
He considered this. “Well, I don’t actually know your sisters as well as you do, but I’d imagine they were getting tired of tip-toeing around you being there, and the director’s probably suggested that they need to go somewhere else to get higher ratings. And considering their doing this to become more famous, I think they’ll listen to him.”
I shook my head. “They’re not doing this to become more famous. They already are famous. They don’t need a reality show to boost them. The only reason they’re doing this was to annoy me, and to torment me on cable TV. No, I think Penny’ll be annoyed that she wasted an opportunity to bug me last night, and she’ll insist on staying in, regardless of whether or not she sees me. I’d say the odds are in favor of them being there.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Because I wanted to hear the option of them not being there. Yesterday was so nice, I keep hoping that maybe it’ll happen again. A girl can dream, right?”
He just shook his head at me, further shaking it when we arrived home and found the camera trucks parked haphazardly in the driveway again. Like he said, I knew my sisters better than he did, and Penny wasn’t really one to listen to reason, anyway. I’m sure the producer would be able to talk Phoebe into filming elsewhere – probably her own house since they were still prepping for the wedding episode. But Penny run the show, so it was her option that mattered in the end.
I didn’t fail to notice that Eros disappeared again, and I really envied him for the ability. To be able to sneak into my own house and avoid my sisters would be a dream to me. But I was a mere mortal, so I just squared my shoulders as I always did, and walked up to the house with a sense of confidence. I was used to this. This wasn’t a challenge anymore.
Although, if the reality show started after I pissed Aphrodite off, I’d be pretty sure the entire thing would have been done just to test me, and to piss me off.
It was the usual sort of chaos when I walked in. Penny was yelling at one of her friends for some unknown reason, their voices echoing down the hall in such a way that I couldn’t tell what was being said. The other girls were taking sides – the ones on the friend’s side were clearly there only because Penny wanted animosity. I’m sure, given a choice, they’d all be on Penny’s side just because they didn’t want her mad at them as well. Phoebe, though, was silent, and looked up as I walked in the door.
Without a word, she stood and wandered over to me. No one was playing attention to her, especially since she was so quiet, which normally would raise alarm bells in everyone. But, of course, our oldest sister and their friends weren’t all that observant. She was quiet, so she was invisible to them.
And normally alarm bells would be ringing for me as well, but my sister’s been…off since I got back from Mount Olympus that second time. My sense of her was completely screwed up to the point where I couldn’t tell if she was about to lay into me for some reason, or if she was going to act like my best friend again. “Hey, Psyche,” she said to me softly.
Okay, so she was in her good mood today. Or else she was about to unleash something awful on me. “Hey, Phoebe,” I said a little unsure. “I didn’t miss any important wedding planning, did I?”
She shook her head. “No, nothing that you’re directly involved in. You don’t actually have to do much; just stand there and even things out. It’s just…you know, that mess.” She gestured to the living room.
“Phoebe, you love a good cat fight!”
“Not when Penny’s directing it, I don’t. It’s like, way boring. She’s too mean, you know?”
I did know; Penny was always able to make me feel way worse about myself than Phoebe had ever done. “Won’t you get in trouble for talking to me while she’s bitch fighting over there? You know she loves a good audience.”
We glanced at her, but it was clear that she couldn’t see us and that she was too caught up in what she was doing. “It’ll be okay, Psy. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know you’ve been seeing that Felipe boy quite a lot. Need any boy advice?”
I wanted to kill Mom for putting the idea that Felipe and I were a couple in anyone’s head. “Felipe and I are not a couple,” I seethed. “I do not need boy advice, Phebes. I can just look at what you and Penny are doing, and figure it out from there. The worst I’d have to worry about is making sure the guy’s mother likes me!”
She looked shocked at this, and I realized my mistake. “Psyche, are you having problems with a boy you like’s mother?” she asked delightedly, which I took to mean she was excited at the prospect of me having that sort of boy trouble.
“No,” I said pointedly. “Forget I said anything, okay? I can handle it on my own. I’m a big girl, Phoebe.”
“Yeah, but sometimes people need help. You’ve never been in a relationship before, Psyche. You wouldn’t know how to handle the ups and downs of it, and you might hurt yourself inadvertently.”
I rolled my eyes. “The types of mistakes you made and the ones I’ll make’ll be completely different. I doubt you’d have any advice that was worthwhile to me, anyway. Besides, if I had a problem and needed help, I’d tell you.”
She blinked at me before flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah, your problems will be much lamer than mine!” she said happily. “I don’t know why I try to help you; you’re such a loser, Psyche!”
And she walked off, leaving me completely baffled. I don’t think I’ll ever understand my sister, at least as she was now, and that was saying something from me.
But knowing that Eros was probably up in my room waiting for me gave me even more incentive to escape upstairs, although it wasn’t like I needed one. Phoebe was creeping me out, and luckily, Mom and Papa didn’t keep me that long when I snuck into the kitchen to grab something quick to eat to hold me over until dinner. They understood. Eros seemed amused at how eager I was to see him again, although I decided not to explain to him it was merely because my sister was acting weird. He might go investigate, and I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know the answer right now.
“You know,” I said to him the follow day as we were driving back to campus. He had spent the night again, which didn’t surprise me, since he seemed determined to prove that having the real Cupid – or rather Eros – in my bed would help me sleep, and he was right thus far. Luckily, Aphrodite still seemed to be stewing, since I managed to remain in bed last night. “You don’t really have to follow me everywhere.”
“I don’t?” he asked innocently.
I shook my head. “I’m a big girl; I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for the past eighteen years. I think I can survive a few hours at school by myself. I mean, not like I don’t appreciate you being around – or don’t understand it – but I don’t want you getting any more obsessive than you already are. I think you know my schedule by now, and you know that I spend a lot of time with Maddie. You could just, like, meet me at the house or something.”
“Are you suggesting that you want to hang out with Maddie by yourself today?” he teased, raising an eyebrow at me. “What, you don’t think Maddie’s my friend as well?”
I shot him a look. “That’s not it at all, but it just seems to me that I might get a little bit annoyed if all this following me around goes on day after day. And, yeah, I sort of want Maddie to myself today. We do have that project that we need to work on, and you keep distracting us.”
He laughed. “Okay, okay, for the sake of your education, I’ll leave you alone today. I’ve got a couple things I needed to check up on anyway. It’s just that…well, I wanted to make sure Mama didn’t decide to do anything while I wasn’t looking, you know?”
“I said I understood why you were doing it,” although I knew this wasn’t the actual reason he was following me around like a lost puppy. “Tell you what, I’ll try to be home around four today, and if I’m not, you have my permission to come find me, and if you can’t, then you’ll know your mother got to me. But I doubt she’ll have anything this soon.”
“I wouldn’t doubt anything where my mother is concerned, but I suppose you have a point. I know you can take care of yourself, Psyche. Even against my mother. But I feel like this is partially my fault, so I want to help make things right.”
“That’s sweet, and I do appreciate the help. Prefer it, actually. I’ll be fine, Eros. I’ve survived a day at school without you before. I’ll be difficult,” I added dramatically, “but I think I can do it.”
He grinned at me, and gave me a rather passionate kiss that, luckily, I don’t think anyone actually saw when I was getting out of the car, such that I sort of swooned a little once he let me out.
It was sort of weird walking around not knowing if Eros would be true to his word, or if he was being extra careful to remain invisible today. I wasn’t getting any sense to him, so I imagined that he was far away, taking care of whatever he needed to do until four o’clock today, when he’d wait impatiently in my room for me. Maybe he wouldn’t even wait until four. Either way, he seemed to be giving me my space today, and I was a little grateful for it.
Not so much grateful that he was away, but that he was willing to give me my space if I asked for it. Seriously, I wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t for our project. Papa always said that education came first, and then relationships. Because any guy who thought otherwise wouldn’t be worth my time, since he wouldn’t have my best interests in mind.
I was a little disappointed, since I was secretly hoping that he’d go against his word. Our relationship was new enough that I did want to be around him all the time, and feel his calming presence. Not having him around, or knowing that he was probably watching me, made me a little restless, and I was eager to get the day over with, and distract myself with Maddie. I felt the most relaxed in our shared class, for some reason, since she was there. I was getting pathetic, I knew, but I didn’t really care.
Today was a day that I got out before Maddie did, miraculously, so I pretty much made a show of getting lunch and then wandering around campus for a while just to kill time. I didn’t quite feel like staying in the food court, nor did I want to go to the library. It was a rather brisk day for a walk, but I felt like exercise…and possibly giving Eros a chance to show up and hang out with me for an hour before he had to give me up to Maddie.
But he was being good, and I could tell he wasn’t hanging around from the fact that I didn’t feel his presence. Maybe I had hoped that he’d check on me from time to time, but I guess whatever had him preoccupied had his full attention.
It wasn’t Eros who found me, but someone completely different, and completely unexpected.
There were actually quite a few people wandering around campus despite the fact that it was between classes. I sipped on my soda while ignoring them, such that I didn’t notice the young girl until she was practically on top of me. “Excuse me?” she asked, her voice light and cheerful, the sort of girl who could be a part of the popular clique, or who could just be another face in the crowd. I turned and looked at her in surprise, and found she was certainly not someone easily forgettable.
She looked a little familiar to me, but I just chalked that up to the fact the same olive complexion, golden blond hair, and bright pale blue eyes as Eros and Aphrodite. This girl, by contrast, looked to be somewhere between eleven and thirteen, only a few inches shorter than myself. She smiled brightly at me. “Yes?” I asked carefully.
“Are you Psyche Karalis?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I am,” I told me. “I know you think I’m like my sisters, but I really don’t want to be bothered at school. I’m sorry.”
She continued to smile at me. “Oh, no, I’m not here to get your autograph or anything like that. I’m Hedone. Hedone Acidalia.”
“He-doe-knee? Yes, so?” Yeah, her surname was the same that Eros and Aphrodite used, but all that revealed to me was that it was an actual surname, and not something Aphrodite had pulled out her ass like I had originally thought.
“Hedone? Oh, come on now; I know you know the Cupid and Psyche myth backwards and frontwards. Don’t tell me you don’t remember Hedone. Sometimes I’m called Voluptas, like Eros is known as Cupid, and Aphrodite as Venus. Sometimes they just call me Pleasure, for whatever reason.”
“Wait. Who are you?”
She looked disappointed. “I thought you of all people would have known who I was. I’m Hedone, goddess of Pleasure, and Eros and Psyche’s daughter?”
I jerked back without meaning to. “Daughter?” I managed to get out. “Eros has a daughter?”
She nodded. “It’s even in the myth, Psyche. I’m the one my mother was carrying when Nona put Mama through all those trials, the same trials you’re facing now. I was born a goddess, so I am immortal, and I don’t quite face the same sort of madness that the mortal born gods did.”
“So…so…?”
She laughed, a light sound. “You forgot about that detail, didn’t you? I thought maybe you had, especially considering how young you are. Who wants to hear that the guy they’re crushing on at eighteen is a father? That’s why I took this form, so that it’d be more like I was Papa’s younger sister than his daughter.”
I glanced down at her, and saw she was giving me a sad smile. “I did forget about you,” I found myself saying. “I’m sorry. Do you hate me?”
“What, for forgetting me? No, of course not! Most people don’t know my name. Mama and Papa’s story is more famous, and some don’t even include the part that she was pregnant!”
“No, I mean…for trying to replace your mother.”
She shook her head. “Psyche, you are my mother,” she pointed out. “Well, technically. You’re carrying Mama’s soul, so I count that as the same thing. I’ve been following Papa following you all these years, hoping like him that maybe one of your lifetimes will remember your daughter, and maybe becomes friends with me. I mean, I don’t understand your hatred of Papa, but I’m your own flesh and blood! Maybe that would mean something!”
“And I guess you haven’t had much luck?”
“Sadly, no,” she sighed. “I’m guessing the same’s true for you?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m sorry. You feel like every other person to me.” She looked downtrodden. “But I am only eighteen, so I don’t think my maternal instincts have really kicked in yet. Maybe that’s why?”
She brightened a bit. “Possibly. I still want to be your friend, though.”
“You…want to be my friend?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! You’re my mother; why wouldn’t I? I want to help you out as much as Papa does, because I want to see him happy. He deserves it, you know?”
I let out my breath slowly. “Whenever I hear that, it always makes me so guilty,” I admitted. “I don’t like the thought of hurting your father, but I’ve done it in countless lifetimes. I hate it.”
“Oh, Psyche, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, her eyes wide and innocent. I realized then that they did look exactly like Eros’, although a little less world-wary. “No, no; it’s not your fault. Yes, the soul is the same, but the people are always different. You have done nothing wrong.”
“I know, but my soul has, and I can’t help but feel responsible for it, you know? Especially since it’s hurt Eros for so long.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. You’re here, and you’re the first one that he actually loves. He obsesses over the girl for the first few years of her life, until she starts to develop her personality, and then usually he starts to drift away, although he doesn’t realize it. A girl might catch his interest enough that he wants to try, but after about the third girl, I think he realized that, for the most part, they weren’t going to accept him. You, on the other hand, he hasn’t stopped following, so I was glad that you didn’t reject him. I doubt there’d be anything left if you had.”
“I, um…” I wasn’t sure where this line of conversation could go. “So…you’re a goddess.” She nodded. “And you want to help me?” She nodded again. I thought about it for a moment. I suppose there were worse things than having your boyfriend’s (if that’s what he was) daughter come out of nowhere and tell you she actually wants to be your friend and wants to help you out of a touch situations. Most of the time, the daughters resent the woman replacing their mother, especially when they’re as old as Hedone was.
But then again, most girls weren’t dealing with their mother’s reincarnation, so maybe it wasn’t quite that odd. I let out a sigh, and smiled at her. “Yeah, okay,” I said to her. “I guess I could be your friend.”
“Really? Oh my God, that’s awesome, Psyche! You won’t regret it, I promise! I’ll be one of the best friends you’ve ever had!”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Well, apparently I’m better at making friends with gods than I am with mortals. I only have one of those, and now I had two goddesses who want to be my friend.”
“Don’t forget Papa and Uncle Zephyrus!”
“That makes my point for me, you know. It’s insane, but I wonder how much of that’s because of my soul?”
“All of it,” she insisted, not sugarcoating it. “Well, okay, most of it. We’re drawn to your soul, Psyche, because it shines brightly for us. But trust me when I say it’s you that makes us want to stick around. You’re special, and I can’t quite figure out why. But I do intend to stick around and find out.”
I realized that people were sort of staring at us, since this was me seeming to talk to a young fan, which was pretty much unheard of. I started to feel a little uncomfortable just standing there, and I glanced at my watch out of habit. “Oh, shoot; I’ve got to go. I’m meeting my friend Maddie to work on a project. It really was great meeting you, Hedone.”
“Likewise. Next time, I want to meet Maddie, too. From what I understand, she’s just as awesome as you are!”
I wanted to laugh; that was an understatement. Maddie was beyond awesome, and at times, I felt like she should be getting all the attention. What the hell did I do, other than be a reincarnation? I’ve had my life handed to me on a silver platter. Maddie’s had to struggle for acceptance her entire life, and came out a better person for it.
But I still wouldn’t wish this madness on her. Not like I didn’t think she could handle it, but I wouldn’t want my friend to go through to hassle, especially with all the hardships in her life. She deserved happiness, but she didn’t deserve to fight for it.
Still, I couldn’t help but think Maddie and Hedone would get along great. I may have just met Hedone, but thanks to my strange ability, I could tell she was just as warm hearted – and as excitable – as Maddie was. And the fact that she was my soul’s daughter probably helped matters.
Daughter. God, I couldn’t believe Eros forgot to mention that he had a daughter that was still around and kicking. That certainly made things a hell of a lot more awkward. I suppose I should probably mention something to him the next time I saw him, but I was still just glad that she accepted me as graciously as she had.
The Trials of Psyche Chapter Seven |