Chapter One
Despair

I sat on the bed, staring at the wall on the other side of the room, not really seeing anything.  I felt strangely numb and rather hollow inside, despite the fact that this was completely my decision.  It wasn’t really forced on me, not exactly.  Sure, Aphrodite made it seem like I had no other option if I were to see Eros again, and she dragged me away from him before I could even find out if I actually hurt him or not.  But I, in the end, was the one who begged for the punishment, to prove to her that I was worthy of being with her son.  I had no doubt that Eros wanted to be with me, at least before I managed to break him wing, and the only obstacle that stood in the way of us being together seemed to be his mother.

Typical.  I wonder how many other girls had to deal with overprotective mothers who never thought you were good enough for their baby girls?  It seemed like a common enough problem that I couldn’t be the only one in this sort of situation.  Now how many of them were dealing with a immortal mother was another story all together.  I’d image I was the first in a few thousand years.

Maddie’s hand floated into my vision, waving to get my attention.  I turned to her a little in annoyance, where she gave me an overly concerned look.  “What in the world is wrong with you, Psyche?” she demanded to know.  “You’re supposed to be out living it up with your Greek hottie this weekend, and meanwhile you not only show up on my doorstep unexpectedly, but you’re also spacing out on me?  What gives?  What happened?”

I let out a sigh, not really sure how the hell I was going to explain this to her.  She only knew how of the truth, after all, and it was the other half that was going to make what I experienced make sense.  Eros had told me that I could tell Maddie everything, so long as I felt I could trust her, but I felt this was too much.  Learning that the Greek gods did exist – and still existed – on top of learning that one of them’s putting her best friend through a series of trials to prove her love to her son?  Maddie was awesome and all, but even that seemed a little far-fetched to me.

I mean, I was living it, and I couldn’t believe it.

I was silent, contemplating my story, perhaps for a little too long without realizing it, since Maddie threw her hands in the air.  “There you go again, spacing out on me!  God, fine; if you don’t want to talk about it, than just tell me!  I’m willing to wait until you’re ready to spill.  But quit being such a goddamn space cadet in the process.”

I blinked at her.  “I’m sorry,” I told her sheepishly.  “I don’t realize I am spacing out, I guess.  It’s just…I have a lot to take in at the moment, and I’m not sure how in the world I’m going to handle it, that’s all.”

She sat beside me, patting my leg.  “That bad, huh?  Did you and Eros have a fight or something?  Your first lovers’ spat?”

I jerked away from her, giving her a slightly wild look.  “What?  What in the world makes you say that?”

“Well, you did email me that you were going to be gone all weekend, and it’s only Saturday morning.  The only thing I could think of is that you guys had a fight, and you decided to come here rather than home because you don’t want your parents to find out your lying about where you’re going.”

I glared at her.  “I thought I was the only one who had the ability to read people perfectly.”

“Pysche, please; I’m your best friend.  I’ve had about thirteen years to learn to understand you.  I know you better than you know yourself, and that’s the honest truth.  There’s no need to be ashamed of it.”  I grumbled something under my breath, mostly to keep her thinking I was annoyed.  “Besides, that’s the only reason I can think for you to come hide out in the dorms with me over the weekend, especially when you told me you were seeing Eros again.  The way you went on and on about him sort of suggested that you’d be excited to see him again.”

“Yeah, well…”

She rolled her eyes at me.  “You know what; you’re right.  I can’t imagine begin to imagine the two of you getting into a fight.  If you could tolerate him kidnapping you, I doubt anything else he’d do would rattle you.  And you’re too freaking perfect to piss him off.  So seriously; what gives?  What happened, Psyche?”

I bit my lip.  “I didn’t get into a fight with Eros; I got into a fight with his mother.”

“Oooh,” she winced.  “Seriously?  His mother?  He doesn’t live with her, does he?”

“God, no; thank goodness.  I think he does all he can to avoid just that.  But I guess he’s sort of like Penny and Phebes, since he does still live close by to his mother, such that she can stop by whenever she likes and give him a hard time.”  I knew for a fact that this wasn’t true.  Yes, Aphrodite did live close-by to Eros’ mansion, since all the gods had a place on Mount Olympus, but he didn’t allow her to pop in announced.  He explained that if he did, she’d be pretty much living with him as well.  And like I said, he was doing all in his power to avoid that.

“Ah, that makes sense,” she said, nodding.  “Like how Nana likes to take advantage of the fact that Dad’s her wealthy child, and tends to impose on us.”

I nodded.  “Exactly.  Problem is that she’s apparently one of those overprotective mothers.”  Understatement of the year.  “Since she doesn’t really know anything about me, she feels I’m not good enough for her son, and basically ended up kicking me out.”

“Can she do that?  I mean, it’s not her house or anything.  What did Eros have to say about it?”

I wondered that myself, briefly.  Was he grateful that I was gone after hurting him yet again?  I never dropped that wax on his wings, but my first incarnation did.  Did he interpret that as history repeating itself, and that I was going to just hurt him again in the future?  Or did he even know I was gone yet, still nursing that broken wing of his.

“He didn’t,” I told her.  “He was, um, asleep when she forced me out.  Trust me; she’s scary.  Not the sort of woman who you’d want to cross.  I figured it was just safer for me to high tail it out of there than get on her bad side.”

“From the sounds of it, you already are on her bad side,” she said, shaking her head.  “I can’t believe you got involved with a Momma’s Boy.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call him that.”  At least not to his face.  “I don’t know; it’s all this family drama going on, and I’m not one hundred percent sure I really want to get caught up in it at the moment, you know?”

Except apparently I did, since I did agree to Aphrodite’s tests to prove my worth so I could spend more time with her son.  I mean, maybe Eros doesn’t want to see me again, but I want him to tell me that himself, not through his mother or Zephyrus or anyone else.  And maybe, in the process, I could prove that I did love him, and that I wouldn’t hurt him like the original Psyche had.

Then again, the original Psyche had gone through similar trials, and she turned around the betrayed Eros worse that I could ever imagine.  I wasn’t too sure if proving my worth through his mother’s tests were going to mean to Eros at this point.  I mean, I  was told the story since before I could understand what it means, thinking that Psyche loved Eros, and she still managed to break his heart into little pieces.  He was still a broken man, now that I thought about it.

And knowing my luck, I just made it a million times worst.

That, of course, was still the worst part of this whole situation.  I could stand the thought of having to be tested to prove my love for him.  I could stand not having his mother trust me ever.  I could stand not seeing him until I was through with all my trials.  But what I couldn’t stand was the thought of hurting Eros in any way, and that was what was truly eating me up inside.  But I couldn’t exactly tell Maddie that little bit, especially considering I broke his wing.  It wasn’t like people had wings, and it wasn’t like I could break any other part of his body.  Not without coming up with some elaborate story that I’d have a difficult time keeping track of.

This, though, I could tell Maddie without revealing too much.  Someday, I might go through with Eros’ offer of letting Maddie know, but I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be involved with the gods now.  When I asked, I had intended on making Eros a huge part of my life, but now, I almost wished that I didn’t know the truth.  Leaving Maddie in the dark seemed like a kindness, actually.  She knew just enough that I wasn’t outright lying to her, and I was leaving out enough that she could continue to live a peaceful, normal mortal life after this whole thing blows over.

I wasn’t meant to live a normal mortal life, unfortunately.  I was born the reincarnation of a mythical figure.  My life was bound to that of the gods before I was even born.  Yes, Eros and the other gods had left some of my incarnations alone, but that wasn’t the sort of life I was meant for.  I was special, after all; different from all the others.  And naturally, that would make everyone who knew who I truly was curious about me and my ability.

Of course, I could have remained blissfully unaware if Aphrodite hadn’t stepped in and revealed herself.  Eros was content to act mortal for me, and Zephyrus was willing to play along.  Persephone had her mortal disguise she could use to masquerade as a college student if she wanted to be my friend again.  There was really no need to reveal everything.

But then again, this was Aphrodite we were talking about.  Most of the major gods were vain in some way, thanks to all those centuries of being worshiped.  She couldn’t leave very well enough alone.

I was envious of Maddie, born a mere mortal, and living in ignorance.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get caught up in it?  I mean, if you love the guy, then it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Maddie, I barely know the guy,” I sighed, blowing a piece of my bangs out of my eye in the process.  “It’s not like I don’t want to be caught up in it, but considering I’m the source of it right now, it might be better if I keep my distance until everyone had a chance to calm down a little.”

“I…I suppose that makes sense,” she allowed.  Neither of us had really been in a relationship before, so all this was rather new to both of us, and we were mostly winging it.  “Well, you’re here now, and I’m assuming you’re going to be here the entire weekend.  Aimee’s gone for the weekend, so that shouldn’t be a problem. So what so you want to do?”

I knew whatever she was thinking we should do would somehow involve distracting me from what was currently going on in my life.  We’ve never had the opportunity to save each other from heartbreak before, and Maddie was just mimicking what we saw the popular clique at school do.  Of course, I didn’t want to go to the mall and buy a whole new wardrobe with Papa’s money, or buy new shoes with a matching handbag.  If anything, going out and buying a million books would make me feel better.

In the end, we decided on the other course of action, which involved us going down to the grocery store and buying about ten pints of ice cream, and spending the day eating it and watching some really bad made-for-TV romances.  It did make me feel relatively better, but not because of the activities.  Just the fact that Maddie was there for me was enough to make me feel even the slightest bit better.

I think that’s the main reason I did end up in front of her dorm.  Not like I had too much choice in the matter, since obviously it wasn’t like Aphrodite was just going to call Zephyrus to have him bring me back.  She didn’t operate like that, and I think she was a little afraid that he was just going to sneak me back to Eros, or else that he’d tell on her.  I suppose she could have called on any one of his brothers to do the job, since I doubt that any of them had any loyalty to Zephyrus or to Eros.  Instead, she decided to just transport me away from her mansion, much the same way she brought me in.  But I guess she picked up on where I’d prefer to go, since the next thing I knew, I was in front of Maddie’s dorm, my things beside me.

It was a good thing the student workers knew me so well, since they didn’t even bat an eye at me coming up, signing in, and heading to the elevator with all my bags, like I was moving in or something.  I wasn’t sure what time it had been on Mount Olympus, or if Aphrodite was able to also able to bend space and time, but she had me arrive a little after eight in the morning, around the time Maddie normally got up on the weekend.  She had been rather thrown off when she found me carefully knocking on the door.

She forced breakfast on me, acting like it was no big deal I was there at first.  In fact, it wasn’t until I starting staring that she got fed up and demanded answers.  I just hoped that I would get to repay the favor to her someday.

“This, right here, is what it should be like,” Maddie muttered to me sometime after we shut the lights off.  I could see hear sounds of life from the hallway, but it seemed like something Maddie was used to.  I felt a little strange sleeping in her roommate’s bed, but it was still better than the alternative, which involved way too many questions from my parents.  Maddie, at least, I could half lie to.

“What should be like?” I asked, turning to her direction.

I heard her shift to look at me.  “This.  This is what it should be like every night, you know?  You should totally try to talk your father into letting you stay in the dorms next year.”

I let out a nervous laugh.  “I’m saving up my good daughter points for when I have to ask him to allow me to get an apartment with you in two years,” I told her.  “Besides, if I moved in the dorms, Papa’d make me get a job, and God forbid I have one of those.”

She laughed.  “Oh, like he wouldn’t just throw money at you if you asked for it.  I mean, he does it for Penny and Phoebe, and he doesn’t even like them beyond the love a father has for his daughters.  You’re his favorite, Psyche.  Anything you ask for, he jumps at the chance to give you.”

“Except my freedom,” I pointed out.  “You know as well as I am that he’s loath to give me up that easily.  And I…kind of don’t want to either.  Your father put up a fight for you, too, if I recall.”

She shifted again.  “Yeah, but that’s different.  Dad doesn’t have that sort of money that he can just toss it around like it’s going out of style.  And he’s grateful to have even had me.  So it’s more of an overprotectiveness to ensure his line continues, and that nothing happens to his more valuable possession.”

“Most valuable possession?”

She laughed slightly.  “That’s what he calls me.  He’s told me before that he could lose everything and he wouldn’t care, so long as he still had Mom and me.  Mom told him he better damn well not lose everything, because he promised her he’d keep a roof over her head when she agreed to marry him.”

“In other words, you guys could be dirt poor, but as long as he was making enough money for you guys to have even the shittiest house, she’d be happy.”

“I know; it’s weird.  But I think the point Mom’s trying to make is that she doesn’t need all this fancy stuff he’s been giving her to be happy.  He’s doing most of this because he can.”

“I never understood why your family insists on being a part of the upper class when you’d be able to survive middle class so much easier,” I admitted.

I saw her shrug in the moonlight coming from her lone window.  “You wouldn’t understand it, I guess, having spent your entire life as part of the one percent.  But average people crave the life of the rich and famous, because they feel like they’re missing out.  And Mom and Dad actually do enjoy living this sort of life.  They just want to reassure each other that it’s not their money or their looks that’s keeping them together, I think.  Yes, Mom only agreed to marry him when he was on his way to the top, but that’s because that’s when he asked.  And she never knew him as anything but a successful businessman.”

“Still, to have you put up with all the crap…”

“Psyche, I never minded any of that.  It was all worth it in the end.”

“Why?”

“Because if I didn’t, I would have never met you.”

I stared at the ceiling in thought.  Was that all it took to be able to put up with things like teasing, bullying, and having to prove yourself?  The chance to get to know someone better?  Was I as strong as Maddie?  Would I be able to handle whatever Aphrodite threw at me?

I would, I decided, because I’d have Maddie in my corner.

The following day was rather boring in comparison, mostly just sitting down and doing the homework neither of us had done until that moment.  It was always great to have Maddie help me, or me help Maddie, with our shared subjects, and we worked quietly, distracting each other the entire time, with the subjects we had separate.  It didn’t take too long for us to finish, but by then, we both figured I’d be safe heading home.

“I may not know what’s going on, Psyche, but I do hope things work out for you,” she said as we stood outside waiting for my cab.  “You deserve happiness as much as the next person.”

“Aw, Maddie; so do you.  More so than me, really.”

She shook her head.  “My time’ll come, I’m sure of it.  Right now, we’ve got to focus on your happiness.  I trust you’ll help me when my time comes.  And you’ll have the experience.”  She winked at me.

I blushed a little at the thought just as the cab pulled up.  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I promised.  “Thanks again for letting me stay with you.”

“Always,” she told me.  “But next time. I think we should have the sleepover at home.  The dorm room isn’t nearly as exciting, you know?”

I laughed.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

I didn’t exactly feel at one hundred percent as I was riding back to my house, but I was composed enough that I knew I could pull it off.  After all, my biggest concern at the moment was Eros’ feelings for me, and since neither Papa nor Mom knew about him, it wasn’t like they would bring him up in conversation or anything.

Of course, I also somehow managed to forget about the film crew over the weekend, and mentally moaned a little when I saw their vans outside, waiting to get a glimpse of me when I exited the cab.  They didn’t know who was coming up, since I typically didn’t ride in cabs.  But I wasn’t so elitist that I’d turn my nose at the practice.

I paid and tipped the cab driver, who turned out to be really nice, as he pulled my bags from the truck.  He seemed a little shell shocked at the mansion, not knowing who he was delivering.  Mom practically attacked me before I managed to open the front door.  “What’s this, Psyche?” she asked me.  “A cab?  What, he couldn’t afford to send a car to take you home?”

“Mom, it’s all right,” I said.  “I, um, didn’t want to let him know where I lived, so I had him drop me off at the mall, and I had the cab pick me up from there.  And I didn’t want him to think I owed him anything.”

“Oh, dear, you could have called your father.  He’d have someone come and pick you up.  You didn’t need to get a cab.”

I laughed nervously.  “I know, but I figure since you guys didn’t know what I had planned that I’d take the opportunity to hire one.  I’ve always wanted to come home in a cab.”

She gave me a sympathetic look, since she knew of my desire to be more independent.  “Well, you’ve had your experience with it, and now you don’t ever have to worry about using one.”  She shoved open the door and ushered me into the house.  I could tell she didn’t like the thought of using a cab.  I actually sort of liked the experience, to be honest.  But considering this was a way to throw them off the scent, I wasn’t offended that she was disgusted.

I sort of wanted to laugh when I saw nearly everyone was at the window, trying to see who would dare intrude on their private property like that.  I suppose that’s how Mom knew I had arrived.  Penny was sort of giving me a delighted sort of disgusted look, and I’m sure I was going to see them rush to the windows and hear her sneer, ‘Oh, it’s just Psyche,’ once the show started airing.

“Look who the cat dragged in,” she sneered now.  “It’s our favorite buzz kill baby sister, Psyche, coming home to grace us with her presence once again.”

“Well, you see, unlike you, I happen to have a desire to leave the nest from time to time.  But I mean, hey, if you want to be a loser and live your entire life with your parents, then more power to you, I guess.”

Penny gave me a rather dirty look while Phoebe looked a little insulted.  “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your parents, is there?” she asked innocently.

“No, Phebes, in your case, it’s not.  Because with Nate gone most of the time right now, you have an excuse to seek the company of your family.  Penny, on the other hand, is escaping the man she married.  Tell me, Penny, don’t you think there’s something wrong with your marriage is you spend the entire time hiding from your husband.”

“I don’t need relationship tips from my baby sister,” she snapped.  “I mean, gawd, you’ve never even had a boyfriend!  I’m sure Felipe’s just using you to hide the fact that he bats for the other team.  I mean, why else would he chose to spend time with someone as ugly as you?”

“Penelope!” Mom scolded in a hush tone.  “I’ll have none of that talk in my house.  All my daughters are beautiful, and I don’t want to hear anything to the contrary.”

Penny flipped her hair over her shoulder.  “Well, some of us turned out prettier than others.  They always say the last one out is the ugliest.”

“What did I just say, Penelope,” Mom demanded.  “If you continue this talk, I’ll ban you from the house.  Your father might not be willing to do so, but this is my house as well.  You will not talk ill if your sister in that manner, do you hear me, young lady?”

Penny sneered again, but dropped the subject.  It was her way of saying she wasn’t going to follow orders, but that she didn’t want Mom to catch on.  Mom took it as her agreeing with her.

Mom proceeded to put her arm around me and pretty much drag me to the kitchen, which had become her and Papa’s sanctuary as of late.  Mom hated being in his office, so the kitchen was the only other place they could spend together without getting involved in the show somehow.  Penny and Phoebe both claimed the kitchen, which was usually the busiest spot in a house, as boring, and refused to go in.  Which worked out well for us.  “Don’t listen to her, Psyche.  You’re a beautiful and intelligent young woman.”

“Please, Mom; I’ve learned long ago not to listen to Penny on matters of beauty.  She believed artificially enhancing herself is the same thing as beauty.”

“Was Mrs. Rogers calling her ugly again?” our cook asked as we stepped in.  “Such a shame.  Mrs. Rogers wouldn’t not beauty if it bit her on the butt.”

“That’s rather bold of you to say,” Mom said as Papa proceeded to snort into his coffee cup, looking a little delighted.

“I only speak the truth, Mrs. Karalis,” she insisted.

“Ah, so that’s what all that fuss was about,” Papa said once he stopped coughing.  “Our favorite daughter as returned.  A bit earlier than I expected, but I guess she talked him into coming home early.”  He winked at me.

“She came home in a cab, Nik,” Mom scolded.

“Did she now?” Papa asked, interested.  “Traveling like a commoner.  For shame, Psyche.  I taught you better than that.  You know very well that I need an excuse to get out of this God forsaken place on weekends.  Denying your old man the pleasure of driving you around.  For shame indeed.”

“Papa!” I scolded, laughing. 

“Okay, okay,” he said, sitting me down.  “So how was it?  Did you have fun?”

I nodded.  “Of course.  His island is so beautiful, and the people are so awesome.  And it’s always nice to, you know, get away,”  We all glanced to the living room where everyone had settled back down, and were making a show of yelling at each other.

“Understandable,” Papa grumbled.  “I mean, one has to figure that there’s a reason you’re agreeing to spend time with Felipe.”

“Nik!” Mom said shocked.  “Honestly!”

“What?  The guy is weird, even for our Psyche.  I know she wouldn’t agree to go under normal circumstances.  I hope you’re not still under the impression that she likes the guy, Helen.”

Mom looked annoyed.  “Is there anything wrong with that?”

“There’s plenty wrong with that,” I said, shuttering.  “Most importantly is the fact that I don’t like him, at least not in that way.  I mean, friends, maybe, but he’s mostly just doing me a favor because of who Papa is.  Normally I don’t like using his influence, but in this case, I’m finding it okay.”

“Well, as long as it doesn’t become a habit for you,” Papa said slowly.  “Not like I think it will.  I mean, once Penny and Phoebe get bored with their little show, and return to their own houses, I don’t think you’ll be needing any excuses to get away anymore.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting her use the boy in that manner!” Mom scolded.  “Psyche, if you don’t like the boy, you shouldn’t lead him on.”

“Mom, trust me; Felipe knows how I feel about him.”  I was lucky that I wasn’t making up anything about Felipe.  He really was the sort of guy who’d take me to his private island just because I asked, and wouldn’t get offended that I ignored him the entire time.  Nor would he get offended if I asked him every weekend.  He was weird, and not my cup of tea, but he was still a gentleman. 

I was forced to describe everything, so I sort of bullshitted around a little, hoping they wouldn’t fact check or catch me in my bluff.  I sort of ran to my room as soon as they allowed me to leave, Papa telling Mom that I probably needed to rest after such a long weekend.  Naturally, I didn’t need to rest, but I didn’t want them to ask me any more questions I had to lie about. 

I unpacked slowly to waste time, carefully putting my unused sundresses and cute summer outfits that Eros didn’t get to see me in back where they belonged.  Penny and Phoebe liked to have the help do this part, while they went off and had fun, but I always felt it was my responsibility to deal with my clothes.  It was annoying, but somehow satisfying when you were done.

I sighed when I pulled out my Cupid plush.  This was my favorite one, depicted as a baby with a toga rather than a diaper.  I remember when I found him one Valentine’s Day, and had to have him, only because I thought it looked more like the myth Cupid than the modern version.  This was the one I had to have with me when I slept.

But while the other Cupids in my collection didn’t make me think too much about Eros, other than what he’d do if he found them, this one reminded me too much of him.  He’d be happy to see it, I was sure, since he seemed like anything that didn’t show him off as a baby in a diaper. 

It even looked like him, with blond hair and two blue beads for eyes.  His toga was white, and his bow and arrow were actually gold.  I let out a sigh, tapping my finger against the tip of his tiny arrow. 

I had no clue what I was going to do about this.

I had no idea what Aphrodite had in store for me.  I hastily agreed because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but I realized now I should have asked what sort of trials she had in mind for me.  Or when.  I think that was going to be the worst part, the waiting.  Never knowing exactly when I was going to be tested.  At the least the original Psyche pretty much had it over in three days, I think.

Naturally, I wasn’t going to be that lucky.

I lay back on my bed, clutching the plush to my chest as though that would somehow bring me closer to Eros.  I wonder what he was doing at the moment.  Was her cursing my existence for putting him in pain?  Was he searching for me?  Was he having it out with his mother?  Or did he not care one way or another what happened to me?

I brought the plush to my eyelevel so I could study it.  It stared back unblinking smiling at me like it knew it was one second away from making my life miserable.  That’s all it took, one second for him to shoot his arrow and make you fall in love with the first person you saw.  Or something of that nature.

I sighed again, placing him on my forehead.  “Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into,” I asked of it, although I wasn’t really expecting an answer from either the toy or the person it represented.

Chapter Fifteen

The Trials of Psyche Chapter One

Chapter Two