Chapter Fourteen
Underworld

I’m not sure how long I just stood there, terrified beyond reason.  I was in the Underworld?  Typically, I don’t think the idea would bother me all that much, because I knew people in myths would go down there all the time, and come back none the worse for wear for the experience.  Sure, they were pretty much scarred for life afterwards, but the fact remained that they traveled down and managed to come back to the living somehow.  I had always figured it wouldn’t be too big a deal.  I mean, hell, I knew someone down here.  I had an ally.  Not too many of the mythical figures could say that. 

But in practice, it was a completely different story.  Despite knowing what I did about the place, it was like my body just instinctively knew that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.  No living soul ought to be in the Underworld, after all, and I was most certainly a living soul.  Add in the fact that the whole reason I was being reincarnated was because Hades couldn’t claim my soul, and I just felt like my entire being was rejecting the fact that I was there.  And sadly, there was really nothing I could do about it.  My only reaction was to stand perfectly still and silently freak out for a while, unsure how much time was passing here and in the world of the living.

Eventually, I did take a deep breath and try to get a handle on myself.  I seemed to be in some sort of odd void, the grey darkness surrounding me completely until I had no sense of how large this place was.  But the fact that I was completely alone made me a little suspicious.  If this was all the Underworld was, I’d be seeing souls and monsters and something rather than swirling white mist mixed in with the grey.  Yes, I could tell I was in the Underworld now, but this was a strange part of the Underworld.  Maybe I was between worlds.  Maybe I was in limbo.

Well, the only real way to get out of limbo was to find the entrance, although which side it would open up on was iffy.  I wasn’t too worried; if I ended up in the world of the living, I’d just find Eros and explain the situation to him.  She didn’t say anything about getting help period, but rather just help from Persephone.  Besides, it was clear that she didn’t know that he was helping me, or that he was right there beside me.  Last time, I knew he was milking his wound in his mother’s house, so she could keep an eye on him, but I was a little surprised that this time, she didn’t get a little suspicious that he wasn’t there with her.  Maybe she was just hoping that he was pissed enough at me to want to keep away from me.

Although that was stupid.  Sure, I was disgusted with myself for hurting him in that manner, but he did have a point that I didn’t actually do anything to upset him.  He didn’t run away from his wife because she had injured him, but rather because she was betrayed his trust.  I hadn’t done that.  He hadn’t told me not to sneak into his room and to kiss him while he was trying to sleep.  In fact, he was enjoying it until I ruined the moment.  (It didn’t matter that his mother whisked me away in that instant – the fact of the matter was that I ruined the moment as soon as I snapped his bones, even if he didn’t mind.)  So he had no reason to be upset with me.

It was just that it was clear that Aphrodite was comparing me to the first Psyche.  That seemed to be why I kept throwing her off guard.  I wasn’t the first Psyche – I was a modern woman with a surprisingly extreme knowledge of most myths thanks to my father’s obsession with them.  Hell, if I had been in Psyche position – pregnant and rejected by the father – I would have no problem giving up on him if I didn’t love him and raising the child on my own.  After all, he did say that if Psyche found out and revealed the truth, the child would be mortal.  At least then the baby would be on the same level as me.

I knew I could use that to my advantage, Aphrodite thinking I was my first incarnation.  It was just at that moment, I had bigger things to worry about.  It didn’t matter if I completed the trial or not.  I needed to get my butt out of wherever I was, or else I might be trapped in there forever.  As it was, weeks or months could have just passed, and I’d have had no knowledge of it.

Well, I might have some knowledge of it.  But hours could have passes, and I’d have no idea.  It felt like I was standing there forever as it was, but it was probably more like ten minutes.  Out of habit, I checked my wrist for my watch, and mentally noted that it was only about midnight, which meant that I hadn’t been there long, since I know Eros and I snuggled into bed about eleven-thirty.

It was then that I realized that Aphrodite decided to be kind in one aspect – I certainly wasn’t in my pajamas anymore.  Instead, I was in my own clothes – jeans and a cute shirt, my hair pulled back, and my usual jewelry.  My necklace felt strangely heavy against my chest when I found it, but I don’t think Aphrodite understood the importance of the charm.  Eros had given it to me, so it was my most previous possession.  If she had known that, I’m sure she wouldn’t have bothered to let me wear it.

But at least that meant I didn’t have to transverse the Underworld in my pajamas. 

I stood there, weighing my options for a moment.  Naturally, I knew the only way out was to pick a direction and start walking, and pray that it took me somewhere.  But the problem was picking a direction.  I ended up turning a three-sixty, at least twice, before deciding to just walk.  After all, the way out was usually began with a first step.

The mist swirled around me as I walked, and if it weren’t for the fact that I knew I was walking, I wouldn’t have any idea that I was moving at all.  The scenery didn’t really change all that much except for the patterns made in the mist, but I just put one foot in front of the other until it got to the point where I wasn’t really noticing I was walking at all.  Where was I, exactly?  I don’t remember reading about a huge expanse of nothingness in the Underworld before.  It was very strange.

According to my watch, I only walked about a half an hour before I started to see the edge of the cave I was in.  It was quite clearly a cave, because the ceiling started to curve down into the wall directly in front of me.  Having a destination helped, since I was able to watch as it became more distinct in the fog.  It took another fifteen minutes to come to the rock edge of the cave, where a large entrance loomed over me, looking quite frightening.

I stood in front of it, panting a little from the fast walk I had picked up once I stopped the edge.  Was this is?  Was this the entrance into the Underworld, to where Adonis was currently staying with his foster mother?  I had little doubt that I could convince him to come, because from what I understand, he actually didn’t like his mother all too much, despite the fact that she raised him.  That was because he was in love with Aphrodite, and would rather spend time with her.  But considering the fact that he was technically dead, he had to follow the rules set upon him.

No, the problem was going to be sneaking him out of the Underworld without Persephone noticing.  Or even Hades, for that matter.  And finding him without either noticing I was there.  I wondered if Persephone had any idea at the moment that I was there.  Did they know when a living soul was in their realm?  I would imagine so, but considering how long I’ve been in here without seeing anyone but Aphrodite, it seemed doubtful.  Unless they just didn’t care until it actually affected them.

Well, there was only one way to find out.  Either way, this was going to be a good thing, getting out of this limbo place.  Either I was walking into the Underworld, or I was going back home, where I could get the help I needed.  I took a deep breath, and took the final steps out of the maddening grey cave.

And walked into chaos.

That’s really the only way to describe the scene in front of me.  I went from seeing no souls to seeing all of them at once, at least that’s what it felt like to me.  None of them seemed to notice me, and most of them were highly transparent.  They were all shouting and pushing at each other, and every now and then, a new one would pop into existence, looking confused until they saw the mass of people in front of them.  And then their voice would be added to the chaos.

I tried to push my way through just to find out what was going on, but none of the souls were having any of that.  As soon as I made contact with them, they took notice of my presence, shouting at me to wait my turn, and shoved me back. But I was a physical being, whereas they were merely souls, so it didn’t take as much effort as it normally would to push by them and wade myself through the crowd.  It became less chaotic as I moved through the crowd, and soon I was surrounded by silent souls, drifting in acceptance that they were going to there for a very long time.

“What’s going on?” I muttered to one of them.

He glanced at me, looking a little hollow.  “Overcrowding,” he mentioned.  “They used to be able to handle the volume of souls coming in with ease when the world didn’t have as many people dying, but after the population started to boom, there started to be a backlog.  Some of these souls have been waiting for entrance for upwards of about thirty years or so.  I’ve been here fifteen myself.  They’re working as fast as they can, but they weren’t designed to hold this many people.  We’ve just learned to accept it.”

“Is this judgment then?”

“It is.  Most of us go on to the fields, although some of us are lucky enough to make it to paradise.  Others are judged on their wicked behavior.  Most people do inherently bad things, but that’s a part of being human.  Those that do the worst of the wicked behavior must account for their sins.”

“But you will not be judged,” another said, clearly listening in on us.  “You are of the living.  You should not be here, child.  It is dangerous.  You may be lost to the ages down here.”

They all started to slowly turn towards me, their hollow eyes boring into my very soul  I took an instinctive step back, thinking they were about to attack me and take my body or something, but all they were doing was watching me.  “I’m on a task, set by a goddess,” I told them, feeling very freaked out.  “I am a Greek heroine.”

“Are you sure about that?  Heroes are the ones who make it out in one piece.  Do you believe yourself to be that lucky?”

“Yes, because I am in reincarnation, and Hades cannot claim my souls,” I said, still feeling uneasy.  “And I am friends with the queen.”

One of them latched onto my arm, burning it with her touch.  “Do put in a good word for us to her,” she said.  “We’ve been waiting an awfully long time, and they should have had time to account for all the new souls.  We just want to rest.”

I took a careful step back from her, extremely freaked out now, but they all slowly started to step back from me.  Before I knew what I was happening, a path opened up in front of me, as they were all watching me, allowing me quick access to the front of the line.  I moved tentatively, waiting for one of them to attack me, but soon I was at the very front of the line. 

There, I found the reason for the delay.  Despite the fact that there were about five judging stations, the line was still moving at an incredibly slow pace.  The elderly had so much of their lives that they needed to be judged.  The still born children, on the other hand, got a once over.  A lady stood holding a silent baby, while the soul judging the child just glanced at it.  “Reincarnation,” he shouted, causing a wispy looking woman to hurry over and take the child.  The soul then looked at the lady, and started to review her file.

I realized one of the souls at the stations was beckoning forward, and that I somehow was next.  “State your name,” he said in a wispy sounding voice.  “Full name, please.”

“Um, Psyche Lynn Karalis,” I told him.

He looked at me sharply.  “You’re not due down here for at least another eighty years, child.  What are you doing?”

“Aphrodite sent me.  She has me doing some trials or something because I hurt her son.”

“Again?  You must be careful about that.  You may pass, but you can only remain here for the night.  After that, Hades will claim your soul despite your agreement.”

I bowed my head at him as he pointed at one of the large boats docked at the edge of the cavern.  “Thank you,” I said as I took off for it.

But then I realized that he wasn’t pointing at one of the boats, all of which were only half filled, and might take a year or so to venture off.  Instead, there was a boat with a single passenger, waiting for someone to need his services.  “Um, I’m guessing your Charon?”

He glanced at me, looking a little bored.  “Who wants to know?”

I dug into my pocket, and managed to find two pennies.  “I want passage across,” I stated, holding out the pennies.

He gave me a curious look before taking the payment.  “You are well versed in your histories, I see.  Most people try to pay me off in cash nowadays.  Not like I need the money, of course; I just like to see if people are paying attention.”

He moved aside so I could climb in, and he shoved his boat away from the edge before I had a chance to even sit down.  We floated over the large cavern over what I assumed was Tartarus, judging from the God-awful sounds arising up from it.  “We travel over this abyss as a reminder to the souls of what happens when you step out of line.  And the traveling of the souls prevents the Titans from escaping.  It works out well.”

“So they’re really down there?” I said, leaning over the side slightly to peek down.  All I saw was darkness.

“And they’re remain down there,” he said stiffly.  Zeus might be the king of the gods, but Hades has the greater power.  Its just that he doesn’t flaunt it like our king does.”

“Are you even allowed to say that?”

He shrugged.  “He can’t touch anyone in the Underworld, so we pretty much say what we want to down here.  Whose going to be influenced?  The dead?  If they go back to living, they don’t remember their time down here, anyway.  Besides, Hades encourages it.  He has no love for his youngest brother.”

I shook my head, impressed.  I didn’t think any of the other gods ever really had anything bad to say about their kind.

It took us a good hour to reach the other side, and I could imagine that it took the larger boats about half that.  It seemed ridiculous to wait over thirty years for a half an hour boat ride, but I wasn’t in charge of this place.  Charon wished me luck on my trial, naturally knowing about it, before sending me on my way.  “The Underworld is open for you, Psyche Karalis; just be careful where you tread.  There are some souls best left alone.  I shall be here if you need passage back.”

“Um, thanks,” I said, waving at him as I started back on my journey on foot.

I had a feeling I knew exactly where Adonis was, but it was going to be difficult getting in without Persephone or Hades finding out.  I wondered briefly exactly how much help I could get from Persephone without it being deemed ‘cheating’.  Probably none, of course, but I couldn’t help but wonder a little.  The problem was, of course, figuring out where the location was.  Everywhere I looked looked exactly the same, after all.

Before I really knew what was happening, I found myself in a lush, beautiful forest, which took me completely by surprise.  I thought I was underground, so why was there a forest here.  And why was there blue skies peeking through the canopy?  I carefully picked through the trees until I reached the edge of the forest.  There, I found a field just as lush, with groves of trees doting the landscape.  In the distance, I could see a small village of sorts, looking rather cozy with smoke coming out of some of the chimneys.

“Okay, where is this?” I asked myself before realizing that there were quite a few people lounging around in the grass.  They were transparent, although not as much as the souls waiting to be judged.

“Excuse me!” I called out to one of them as I exited the forest, approaching the first couple I saw.  “Could you tell me where I am?”

They looked at me lazily.  “You are in the Underworld,” he stated. 

“I get that much,” I said, rolling my eyes.  “Where in the Underworld?”

“This is the main section,” his companion told me.  “This place is for the ordinary souls.  We’re not good enough for the Elysian Fields, and yet not terrible enough to be punished.  So we’re allowed to stay here, in an almost paradise.  There is no pain or fear here, but it is not paradise.  We live a simpler life.”

“So would you happen to know how to get to Hades’ palace?”

They looked at me sharply.  “This is as close to paradise as you can get,” the woman told me.  “Hades has made his decision about you, and will not entertain souls who believe that they were wrongly placed.”

“I’m still alive,” I said dryly.  “I’m on a quest, and I’m not going to the palace to seek Hades.  There’s someone else there that I want to see.”

“Well, in that case, you merely go into the village, and find the road that leads out of it, and it’ll take you out of this chamber.  From there, I’m not sure, but I believe it’s a start.”

“Ah, thank you.”

“Good luck on your quest,” the lady told me happily as I moved towards the village.

It appeared that the village kept with Greek standards, since I sort of felt like I had walked back into ancient Greece.  But I guess that made sense.  Most of the people here weren’t from modern times, anyway, and were perhaps here since before Rome fell.  They paid me no mind as I walked through their village, going about their business as they always did.  It seemed dreadfully boring to me, but I guess they did have the option of reincarnation if they really wanted it.  I’m sure that’s why most of them would want to see Hades from this place.

The road was easy enough to hide, actually, although I did have to have someone point out the right one for me.  From there, it took me another half an hour to suddenly leave the warmth of the cavern, and I found myself in the cold and desolate cave system again.

I didn’t stop this time; walking straight until I found another clue as to where the palace was.  I didn’t know how much time I had left, since I could only be here the night before I lost my soul.  I was hoping that Adonis would know the easy way out once I found him, or else I might be screwed if this took too long finding the place.

But before I found the palace, I managed to walk into yet another chamber without even realizing it.  They all seemed to be connected in that way, actually, shifting from one to another without notice.  This one, however, seemed more like the first cave that I was in, except this one actually had people in it.

It wasn’t exactly bright and cheery, but the people had their own little village to take care of.  The problem was that the people in this cavern were moving around listlessly, like they had lost their will to live completely.  Their eyes were all even more hollow than the eyes of the souls who excepted their fate of waiting for passage to their final resting place.  It was pathetic, really, but none of them seemed to notice this.  Their eyes were completely unfocused, and they were just wandering around.  A few of them were alert and going about their lives, ignoring those in trances, but still ignored me.

I had absolutely no clue where the hell I was, and I was almost too afraid to actually ask one of them. 

My skin crawled at the sight of them, for some reason, and I felt extremely cold.  I knew he hadn’t a chance of finding me – which was why I managed to keep my mind off of him this entire time – but this was the first place that I really wished that I had Eros at my side to help me.  I needed this warmth.  But I was alone, and Eros had no idea where I was, and I was just going to have to deal with it.

I knew I needed to find a way out of this place, and naturally get directions.  I spotted one of the souls just going about her business, feeling she looked more familiar then she ever had any right to.  But considering she seemed to be in the here and now, if not a little annoyed about it, I figured at least I could get an answer from her.

She had her back to me as she was sweeping off the bricks behind her house, so I instinctively reached out to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention.  “Excuse me,” I said before laying my hand on her.

And immediately wished I hadn’t.

Images came rushing at me, all as clear as though I were seeing them for the first time.  I saw myself standing beside a cliff, terrified but putting my faith in the crazy old oracle whom my father had consulted.  I jumped as requested, and found myself floating rather than falling.  I saw myself in a extravagant house, which I immediately recognized as Eros’ mansion, but at the time I had no clue what the hell I was seeing.  A figure cloaked in blackness came to me that night and made me his wife.

Other images flashed before me – feeling lonely, I manage to convince my husband to allow me to see my sisters, under the condition I don’t tell them about him.  And I don’t, but they manage to make me doubt who he is.  At night, I sneak into his bedchambers with a candle to get a look at him, but my first sight of him was of an angel slumbering.  He looked exactly like he did when I came upon him sleeping the first time, and just like that time, I was overcome with the desire to kiss him.  Which I do, except I drip wax onto his wing, waking him and causing him to flee.

I wandered, lost.  I had just been informed I was pregnant, and my husband as left me.  I pray to several gods for help, entering their temple without any aid.  Aphrodite is the only one who responds, offering me a chance to have him back through a series of tests.  Feeling so guilty about going against his word, and wanting to actually get to know him now that I knew what he looked like, I agree instantly and without thought.

I saw myself feeling hopeless at the tasks given to me, none of which make any sense.  But gods and creatures alike seem to want me to be with Eros, and sent their aid.  Finally, I collect Persephone’s beauty in a box, and curious, want to see what it looks like.  I wake to find myself in Eros’ arms, and him willing to take me back after I went through all that.

I ended up giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, despite everyone telling me it was going to be a boy.  I was genuinely happy with my life with Eros, at least until my father passed away.  And then my mother.  And then my nieces and nephews and my great nieces and great nephews and their children.  They were all dying before me, and I was stuck as I was for all eternity.  But that was okay, because the mortals needed a mortal-born goddess to call upon when they needed help.

But then they didn’t need my help anymore.  They were calling to a new god for help, and they abandoned me.  Depression crept in, but I couldn’t tell Eros about it, because that would ruin his happiness.  And all I wanted was for him to be happy.  So when Persephone told me about a plan to help mortal-born gods deal with the recession of power, I knew I had to jump on the chance before Eros could talk me out of it.  Here was a solution to all my problems!

But I didn’t want Eros to think that being with me was going to make him happy.  He needed to move on with his life.  Hedone didn’t need a father obsessed with a mortal girl, so I sealed my love for him away, hoping my rejection of him would give him the hint enough to leave me be.

I jerked as my hand fell away from the girl, feeling a little like my heart was going to burst.  She was looking at me with wide eyes now, looking utterly shocked.  She did in fact look nothing like me – her skin was far darker, her hair was a golden blond and pulled back in an elaborate braid, and her eyes were a vivid green color.  Most of all, her features twisted into a sneer that was more befitting for Penny than for me.

“You,” she spat out.  “How dare you?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, feeling more frightened than I ever had.

“I wondered what happened,” she said with a curled lip.  “Why I found myself here with all my memories intact.  I shouldn’t remember a damn thing.  And yet, here I am, because you took my place!”

“Are you…are you the first Psyche?” I asked, despite myself.

“I sure the hell am,” she said haughtily.  “But I’m the one who should have been reincarnated, not you.”

“I don’t understand; how are you here?  I thought I had your soul.”

“You do, moron, just the wrong one.  God, you’re stupid.  I can’t believe that you were once a part of me.  You’re rather simple, aren’t you?”

I felt a little offended.  “Well, no,” I said.  “I don’t think I am.”

“That’s what someone simple would say.  What the hell are you doing here, anyway?  Persephone said that I’d have no chance of actually seeing you again.”

“Aphrodite sent me.  I’m on a trial.”

“Again?  What the hell did you do this time?”

I shrugged.  “Same thing as last time,” I admitted.  “Sort of.  Aphrodite took offence that I managed to hurt her son again, and she’s forcing me to prove my love.”

Psyche laughed haughtily at that.  “Again?  Wow, you…wait, Eros?  You didn’t reject him?”

“Well, no,” I said.  “I was too curious to say no to his offer, and he’s too interesting to reject.  They told me I was the reincarnation of Psyche, so I just assumed that the love I felt for him was because we were soul mates or something.”

“No, I’m soul mates with Eros.  I didn’t want him chasing me around and to have my heart broken again, but you most certainly weren’t supposed to fall in love with him, moron.  Can’t you do anything right?”

“So I’m not the reincarnation of you?”

“Clearly; I’m standing right here, aren’t I?  You are just my Underworld replacement.  So how the hell did you get put in my body?”

I grabbed at my shirt.  “Excuse me?” I asked, feeling offended again.  “This is my body.”

“You stole my life,” she hissed at me, leaning towards me.  “You ruined my chances.  No matter; I see where you are now.  It should be no matter to get back the life you stole from me.  I mean, it’s not like your clever or anything like that.”

She grinned evilly at me, reminding me entirely too much of how Penny looked right before she attempted to embarrass me in public.  I never liked that look on anyone.  But seeing it on this girl terrified me far more than it ever did on Penny.  At least I knew what Penny was capable of.  I didn’t know anything about this girl in front of me.

Except that she was the first wife of Eros, despite the fact that I always thought that’s who I was.

I blinked for just a second, and she was suddenly gone, just like that.  I was used to it when Eros or any of the other gods did it, but it was a little unnerving when a simple soul did it.  I whipped around looking for her, finding my heart racing for some reason.  This wasn’t good.  This wasn’t good at all.  I don’t know what just happened,  but I just knew it was bad.

What did she mean that she was going to get back the life I stole from her?

The other souls were glancing at me now as I was slowly freaking out even more than I was before.  Did it mean what I thought it meant?  Was she going to try to steal my life from me?  Or maybe even my body?  I didn’t know what was going on, but I had a feeling I only had half the truth about it.  Especially if I just had a soul accuse me of stealing her life.

It was my life.  I was born into it, I lived it, I tolerated what came my way.  It was just starting to look up, and there was no way in hell I was going to give it up that easily.  I might not know what was going on, but I certainly did know one way to get answers.

I spun, heading to the first focused soul I saw.  She was giving me a worried look.  I made sure not to touch her this time.  “Where is Hades’ palace?” I demanded of her.

“He won’t be able to help you,” she said, trembling.  “He does not see souls like us.”

“I don’t want to see Hades,” I told her.  “I want to have a little chat with his wife.  Besides, one of you just disappeared, and I’m pretty damn sure, if I remember correctly, that Hades doesn’t really look too kindly about that.”

She bit her lip, as though debating whether to tell me or not.  She looked familiar as well, almost like we had in fact known each other in a previous life.  Maybe that’s why she told me.  “It’s just outside this chamber,” she told me.  “He likes to keep up close because we were once gods, and we’re can be unpredictable at times.  But he hasn’t looked in on us for ages.  We’ve been on our own.  Persephone takes care of us.”

“Great; like I said, she’s the one I want to see.”

“Psyche,” the soul said as I started to march over.  “There’s not much that can be done.  You weren’t meant to be reincarnated.  She has a right to take back her life.”

“It’s my life, and I was brought into it.  She has no right to it.  And I plan to keep it that way.”

“Well, I wish you luck.  Your soul had gone insane through her lives not being able to be with Eros.”

I grit my teeth, unsure how any of this was really going to help me if that were the case.  “Thanks,” I said.  “I’ll manage.”

And I marched through the chamber, determined to get answers from Psyche’s so called best friend.

Chapter Thirteen

The Trials of Psyche Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen