Chapter Four
Disaster

I woke the following day with a massive headache.  This concerned me greatly, since I typically didn’t get headaches at all.  Sometimes I might get one from staring at a computer or a TV screen for too long on any given day, but that was more eye strain than a proper headache.  Mom sometimes claimed that she had a migraine, although sometimes I would wonder if she just needed time alone without anyone bothering her.  Penny and Phoebe had experienced hangovers more times than I’m sure they could count, but I had never heard of anyone in our family waking with a headache that they didn’t know the cause of.  It seemed counterintuitive.  After all, you slept to get rid of a headache; one doesn’t just wake with one.

It started off small, such that I didn’t notice it as I came back to consciousness, so it clearly wasn’t what woke me in the first place.  I just lay there for a second, realizing I had been a sleep and now I was awake exactly where I had put myself before drifting off.  And then I noticed a small bit of pain right at the top of my brain.  It was irritating more than painful when I noticed it, but it seemed to spread quickly once it made its presence known.  Before I knew it, I felt like my head was splitting in two, and my stomach rolled at the pain.  Except I couldn’t even stand the thought of the action of being sick, because that would require action on my part.

I thought I was dying.  The pain moved from my head to reach every single one of my nerve-endings, giving me a cold sort of tingling sensation throughout my body.  But I couldn’t really focus on that, because the pain in my head was just that terrible.  I couldn’t move, I couldn’t try to cradle my head in my arms in a natural reaction.  My nerves now felt like they were on fire, and I was paralyzed.  And I couldn’t tell if it was because of the pain I was experiencing, or because of some other reason.

I felt like I was lying there for centuries burning, but it was probably more of a matter of seconds or possibly minutes.  The fiery sensation eventually crept back up my limbs, starting with my feet, and receding back towards my head.  Without thinking, I moved my hands to clutch at my head, groaning at the pain I was experiencing.  What the hell did I do to myself?  This was so unusual that it worried me. 

Unless…unless maybe this was just my immortal soul actually awakening, and I was being granted the power of becoming a goddess.  That would explain the burning sensation as power suddenly flowed through me, and then it got used to it.  Except…

Except I had experienced that sensation once before, even if I couldn’t remember it exactly.  But it had been one of the memories I had seen when I touched Psyche, and the power of the gods, eaten through ambrosia, did make her feel tingly and a little warm, but it was more like being wrapped in a freshly dried towel by your mother on a cold winter’s day.  The warmth was the best kind of warm a human could experience, and it made the entire experience pleasant.

What I was feeling wasn’t pleasant at all.  When with my limbs no longer on fire, I still felt like I was in the process of dying.

But eventually, the pain in my head eased up, leaving a dull sort of after ache tingling through my head.  I lay there gasping now, shocked at the force of such a pain.  But the fact that it did disappear gave me hope.  At least I didn’t have to experience it anymore.

I knew I was going to have to get up soon, since getting ready for the wedding was going to an all day event, which was typical of my sister.  We had nail, make-up, and hair appointments lined up all day, although none of them too early, since everyone else in the wedding party were the sort of sleep in.  I still had plenty of time, but I wanted to make sure I was mentally prepared for the day.  Sure, Phoebe and I were being best sister friends, but that didn’t matter.  I was going to be spending all day with sourpuss Penny in front of the cameras, something she had been dreaming about since she proposed the reality show.  Add on the fact that today was all about Phoebe, and not Penny, and she was going to be a foul mood, and I’m sure, since she knew she couldn’t touch Phoebe, I was going to take the blunt of her anger.

There was also the fact that I was going to spend the majority of my day stuck with Penny and Phoebe’s giggly girlfriends, and I figured I’d better get up early to get a head start on the day.

Despite how I was going to spend my morning and early afternoon, I was still looking forward to This day.  My sister was getting married finally, and to a man that we were delighted to be adding to the family.  The Greenes had been a little iffy about adding Phoebe to their horde, at least until she started on her transformation.  Now the only problem was that she was a little bit too white (despite being half-Greek) to really fit in, but most of them were looking beyond that little handicap.  Today was all about my sister’s happiness, and I couldn’t help but be excited for her now.

Add in the fact that Eros seemed to be genuinely interested in spending the reception with me, and I found myself a little giddy.  He might still just be going through the motions, but I couldn’t help but picture us dancing the entire time, interceded only by my father and possibly Zephyrus to be annoying.  Penny might try to ruin my good time, but it was going to be utterly perfect that I was pretty sure I could ignore her.  Today was going to be my day to be happy as well.

I flipped to my back to stare happily at the ceiling, my headache almost completely forgotten now.  Images of Eros dressed smartly while spinning me around a dance floor passed through my mind’s eye, before the memory of what I was dreaming about before I woke resurfaced.  I frowned at them, wondering why they were coming up now.

It had been an odd sort of dream, the sort where I could have sworn I was awake and experiencing it before I woke to realize it was, in fact, just a dream.  But it was yet another one of my soul’s memories, so that’s probably why I felt that way.  I didn’t dream much about the cavern where the other souls were housed all that often – I was still dreaming about Psyche’s past lives – but it still happened from time to time now.  I was fully aware of the fact that I was down there, and completely annoyed to know where I was.

It was so strange to be in the cavern.  I felt so disconnected from reality, and yet at the same time, completely grounded where I was.  The other souls around me drifted about their lives, going through the motions of living despite having their minds completely in a different realm.  “Hello, Psyche!” one of them called to me cheerfully.

It was that familiar looking soul I had met when I had been on my trial.  I guess she was so familiar because she had been my friend while I was down here, since she was smiling happily to be seeing me again.  “Um, hi,” I found myself saying.

She blinked before shaking her head, her smile only at half wattage now.  “I didn’t expect to see you over here.  How are things going for you?”

I shrugged.  “All right, I guess,” I told her.  “I mean, things have been better, but I’m sure they could be worse as well.”

“This is true,” she allowed. 

We were silent for a moment as she studied me.  “I have a question; why is it that we’re conscious and they’re not?  What happened with us?”

“Well, everyone knows that you were the first.  Your love of Eros woke you up when your other self kept rejecting him.  The rest of us, well, we each have our own reasons.  Sometimes, it just…happened.  I myself just realized one day that I was looking at my life through someone else’s eyes.  It’s not an exact science, after all.  Hades didn’t know the consequences when he decided to split souls.”

“Why are there so many of us down here?  I didn’t think there was that many mortal born gods.”

She chuckled.  “Most were lost of history, and too many of them never actually made it into the myths.  Some of their stories ended before it was explained that they were deified.  Some were made immortal merely because they became a legend, and Hades was no longer able to keep their soul within his realm.  We’re all surprised when we wake to find how many people are actually down here with us.”

“Wow.  But how many are actually aware of being down here?”

“Only about two dozen or so,” she shrugged.  “Just enough to keep things interesting down here, but not enough to alarm Hades.  He comes every now and then to check on us, but we’re perfectly content to remain here, so he leaves us be.  It might not be paradise, but it’s ours, and if we get bored enough, well…we can always just tune into what our other half is doing for a while.”

“You can still do that?”

She nodded.  “And frequently.  Its far more interesting than not being conscious of the fact, because you can observe objectively.  And when you get bored or annoyed enough, you can just come back here.  It’s really no wonder why the few of us who detached ourselves did.”

“So you do still have your connection to your original soul?”

“Oh yes; even you have some sort of connection.   Can’t you feel it now?  I’m sure if you concentrate long enough, you could actually see what your other half is seeing.”

I found I didn’t want to, for some reason.  Instead, I chose to follow my companion around as she went about her daily chores, but she didn’t seem to mind having a shadow.  I doubt any of them minded, if there were only a handful of souls that they could actually talk to at any given time.  She kept up a steady stream of babble, relating to me her past lives, and how boringly domestic they all were.  She wouldn’t reveal to me exactly who she was, but I didn’t exactly ask, either.

The dream was so strange and so vivid, unlike most of my other dreams.  Even my memories had a foggy quality about them, although that was mostly because they weren’t really my memories, but rather memories stored within me.

I let out a sigh, not really sure what was going on with me today, before glancing at my clock and deciding now was just a good a time to get up as any.  I started to pull myself out of bed before realizing something else was amiss as well.

Where was Eros?

Even with the way he’d been acting recently, I’ve never failed to wake with him at my side.  Or at least in my room.  He knew I couldn’t sleep that well without him – or some representation of him – in my bed, which was why he kept up with the practice, I was sure.  He was never just…not there.  I felt my heart drop into my stomach.  Was he just lying to me last night about wanting to dance with me at the reception?

Was he finally making his break with me, giving me false hope before leaving me completely?  Maybe he thought it was kinder than flat out leaving me the night before my sister’s wedding. 

Maybe something else had come up, and I shouldn’t really worry about it until I got more information.

I sighed, figuring the best way to handling whatever the situation was was to act like nothing was wrong in the first place.  Nothing was wrong.  I had suspected this day would come eventually, and him distancing himself from me for the past three months just made it all the more easy to accept it now that it was here.  It hurt like I couldn’t believe, but I could handle it.  I was a strong, independent woman, after all, and I didn’t need a man to make me happy.

Except in this case, I sort of did.  Well, not a man so much as Eros, but I could learn to survive without him.  Countless generations of my mortal soul have been able to do it, so why couldn’t I?  Sure, being with Eros was the whole reason I wanted to be reborn, but I tried, and failed, so I might as well make the most of the situation.  I did enjoy living, after all.

I went through my routine of staring at myself in the mirror, scrutinizing myself a little more than usual after that little incident when I woke.  But nothing had really changed.  Blue eyes, freckles, dark wavy hair that looked like a bird nested in it last night.  I sighed, figuring this was a sign I wasn’t divine at all.  What goddess would wake to tangles sure as this?

I spent a good half an hour tackling my hair, not bothering to make it anything beyond acceptable, knowing full well that some stylist was just going to ruin it later that day.  I was going to have to talk them into my braid, I knew.  It was a part of my identity, after all, and I would feel a little less like myself without it.  I think Phoebe understood that fact now, and I was pretty sure she’d be in support of it.

I dressed casually for the day, knowing what pampering I was in for.  It wouldn’t exactly be the first time – Papa had us particulate in a few photoshoots before, where they tried to make us out to be a loving and caring family.  I could never wear my own clothes for any of them, although what they stuck me in was a fair representation.  It was just that they had to know what I was wearing, and I wasn’t all that into labels for my everyday wear.  So I knew I had to dress comfortably now, because it wouldn’t matter in the long run.

Thanks to my hair fiasco, I actually came down a little later than I normally would have, but still early by the household standards.  I was a little surprised to see everyone actually sitting at the table for breakfast, since I thought maybe Papa, Mom, or Nona would want to sleep in, since they didn’t have to do anything until later that day.

Well, Papa at least, since I’m sure both Mom and Nona would want to be in the thick of it today.

I was a little surprised when they all fell silent as I walked in, since this was extremely unusual.  Even when they were actually talking about me, it usually wasn’t something they wanted to hide from me.  At least not the people sitting at the table at the moment.  They all turned to me as I entered the dining room.

“Good morning,” I said cheerfully, deciding to put on my acting skills to throw them off.  Really, I was feeling a little dead inside knowing that I probably won’t be seeing Eros again anytime soon.

I was suddenly met with three very angry faces…and one absolutely delighted one.  And while the three people mad at me confused me, since none of them had ever been mad at me before, it was the delighted one that terrified me most of all.

“Oh my God,” Penny said, practically bouncing in her seat with joy.  “I can’t believe you’d actually show your face down here today!”

“What?” I asked, shocked.  “What the hell are you even doing here?”

“Oh, like I was going to miss this,” she said, waving me off. 

“Miss what?”

“Psyche,” Papa said in a tone he usually reserved for Penny or Phoebe, “have a seat.”

My blood had frozen in my veins as I did just that.  I was probably the first child who actually did what he said when he used that tone, since Penny and Phoebe knew it so well that they would start babbling some excuse before he had to repeat himself.  But then again, I had never been in trouble before.  I didn’t even know what the hell I did!  I probably looked a little like a deer in headlights, to be honest.

“We are very disappointed in you, young lady,” Mom said sternly.

I blinked at them.  “You…you are?” I asked slowly.

I suppose they thought I was putting on an act or something.  “You completely ruined you sister’s wedding, Psyche.  You knew she was looking forward to this for months now.  I don’t understand it,” Papa said, shaking his head.  “I’d expect this sort of behavior out of Penny, but never out of you.”

My brain had shut down for a moment for being scolded, so it took me a moment to realize what he was saying.  “Wait, what did I do now?”

“There’s no sense in playing innocent, Psyche,” Nona said sternly.  “I knew this was going to happen someday, Nik.  All this fame is finally going to her head!  I told you that you needed to keep your daughters out of the spotlight, but you wouldn’t listen to me!  And now look, all three of them turned out to be spoiled rotten!”

“I, but…wait…”

“There’s not use denying it, baby sister,” Penny told me.  “They were all there.  They all saw how you acted.  Daddy’s precious little angel turned out to be more of a she-devil, didn’t she?”

My mind was reeling.  “What’s today?” I asked slowly.

“Sunday,” Mom said automatically, not questioning why I was even asking.

“Wait, so…”

“And don’t even get me started on the reception!  I have never, in all my years, seen someone act so wild.  Honestly, Nik…”

“Mama, this is a matter between Psyche and us.  Please stay out of it.”

“You’re obviously not doing your job right if you allow her to act like that.  I hadn’t realized how out of control you actually let her be.  She was usually so quiet and well behaved when she was visiting me.”

“She usually is well behaved,” Mom told her.  “That’s why we want to talk to her.”

“I don’t…what?” I asked, placing a hand on my temple. 

“She’s a very good actress,” Penny informed our parents.  “She’s been fooling you into believing that she’s utterly boring, but in reality, she’s just a bad seed.  See, even now she’s pulling the wool over your eyes!”

“Penny, that’s enough.  I suggest you go home to your husband before you do anymore damage.”

“But…”

“As I told your grandmother, this is between us and Psyche.  I’m asking you to leave now,” Papa said sternly.

The two held a staring contest before it was very clear Papa was about to back down.  As much as her baby bump allowed her, she slunk out of her chair and out of the room, although I doubted she fully left.  Nona did the same, although much more graciously.  She probably didn’t really have to leave, but I think she realized this was a private matter.

“Is Phoebe still here? Can I apologize?”

“I doubt your sister will want to be hearing from you anytime soon,” Mom said.  “And I honestly don’t blame her.  What were you thinking, Psyche?”

“I don’t…I don’t know,” I told them truthfully.

Papa shook his head.  “I know you’ve never gotten along with your sisters before, but I thought that you and Phoebe were making progress.  I hadn’t realized that all this was about payback.  Honestly, this is the sort of thing I’d expect from Penny, not from you.  I thought I raised you better than that.”

“You did.  I just…I don’t…”

“Young lady, making up excuses isn’t going to help matters,” Mom told me sternly.  “Perhaps maybe it’s time to ground you until you’re ready to tell us the truth.”

“I…what?”

“I hate to say this, but I agree with your mother.  You’re sot spend the rest of the day in your room, thinking about what you did.  I know this doesn’t seem like much of a punishment, but you have to remember that the cameras left with Phoebe to record her honeymoon.  We’ll send your meals up to you.  When you’re ready to talk, you may come out.  But only then.”

“Just today?”  I squeaked.  “What about school?”

“Just today.  Obviously, we won’t keep you from school.  But until you’re ready to be honest with us, you have to come straight home.  You understand, young lady?”

I nodded meekly.  I understood what they were doing; they didn’t think I’d last very long keeping anything from them.  And if I did have answers, they should realize by now that I would have given it to them.  I must have done something really awful for them to think otherwise.

They did allow me to go ahead and grab breakfast since I was down there already before forcing me to march upstairs to my prison.  They were right in one regard that it wasn’t much of a punishment, except they knew I was looking forward to hanging out with just them and Nona the day after the wedding.  Penny wasn’t going to be around, in theory, because there would be no cameras. 

Add on the fact that I was mentally beating myself up because I had no idea what the hell was going on, and it did seem appropriate.

I had intended to sit alone in my room and ransack my brain to figure out exactly what I did.  And why I didn’t remember any of it.  I honestly woke thinking it was Saturday, not Sunday, and I was completely thrown off.

Except, to my surprise, I found I wasn’t alone in my room.  Eros was actually there when I managed to shove open my door despite being burdened with plates, and I honestly felt my heart nearly leap out of my chest in happiness when I saw him.

Except he seemed just as pissed as my parents, causing my heart to drop back into my stomach.  Here it was; now he was going to break up with me.  At least he was being kinder about it than I thought, and doing it to my face.

I carefully placed my breakfast on my coffee table, and patiently waited for him to rip my heart in two.  “What the hell were you thinking, Psyche?” he demanded of me, which I wasn’t really expecting.

“I don’t know,” I said, on the verge of tears.  “I honestly just don’t know.”

“I mean, I could understand you trashing your sister’s wedding – after all, she’s been tormenting you your entire life, and you might as well get back at her and all – but that was certainly not the way to go about it!  I didn’t even realize you were planning any of it!  This is so unlike you, Psyche…”

“But I don’t…what did I do, Eros?”

“What did you do?  What didn’t you do!  You gave us all a false sense of security and waited until the pastor asked if anyone objected to the marriage, and then you spoke up, listing several of Phoebe’s vices for all the world to hear.  You basically called her a slut and a whore at her own wedding.  Your father had to drag you out for the ceremony to resume.  And then you literally crashed the reception, trashed the place, ruined the wedding cake, told Donald you were pretty sure Penny’s baby wasn’t his, which got them fighting, managed to dance provocatively with just about every straight guy in the room, and finally managed to drop punch all over Phoebe’s gown.”

“Oh, good lord,” I said, dropping my head into my hands.  “Are you serious?  No wonder they’re so pissed at me!”

He gave me a strange look.  “What were you thinking, Psyche?” he repeated.

“I wasn’t!  I don’t…I don’t even remember doing any of that!  I woke up this morning and thought it was Saturday!”

He blinked at me in surprise.  “You don’t remember doing any of that?” he asked in a small voice.  “You lost a day?”

I nodded.  “You said so yourself, it was unlike me.  Do you really think I’d act that way?  Especially to Phoebe?  She’s been looking forward to this day for so long that even if I did still hate her, I still wouldn’t ruin the day for her.  A girl’s wedding is sacred.”

“What do you mean, if you still hated her?” he asked, confused.

I sighed.  “Well, I guess you wouldn’t have noticed how Phoebe and I are started to connect with each other.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

I don’t know why, since I knew I should be ashamed more than I should be angry, but this whole situation pissed me off.  I poked my finger at his chest.  “You know exactly what I mean!  You’ve been so focused on pining after your first wife that you’re not even bothering to notice what’s going on in my life anymore!”

“What the hell are you talking about, Psyche!”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!  You’re still in love with her, I know it!  Well, fine, I don’t care anymore; if you want to be with her, than just leave already and let me get on with my life!”

He looked shocked for a second, almost like he couldn’t believe I had actually caught onto him.  I really didn’t care anymore.  If he was going to be mad at me for something I didn’t even remember, then I was done with him.

Except he didn’t leave.  Instead, he grabbed me and pulled me into a soul-crushing kiss, causing my spine to turn into jelly and my knees to nearly give out on me.  He had never kissed me like that before.

“You are such an idiot, Psyche,” he muttered to me once he finally let me catch my breath.  He had his forehead on mine, and I was staring into his eyes in utter surprise.  There was nothing but love for me in them.  “I’ve already told you that I love you.”

“But…you were in love with Psyche, and I only have a piece of her soul.  I have an artificially created soul, Eros.  How can you love me?”

“Well, I was surprised to learn that, I had to admit,” he told me.  “I had always thought Psyche was born with her soul intact, which her rejecting me just confused the hell out of me.  But then I realized it made sense.  Psyche and I didn’t really fall in love with each other until after we were officially married, which was after she was made a goddess.  I fell in love with her beauty at first, and she just felt obligated to stay with me because she had no idea what the hell was going on.  And I was kind to her.  But I had been so careful not to allow her to see me that I didn’t actually get to know her.  So technically, I didn’t fall in love with Psyche’s soul, but rather her artificial soul.”

“Me,” I breathed.

He nodded.  “Besides which, I never really felt a connection with any of her other reincarnations.  You’re the first one I actually felt something for.  I knew you were worth perusing the moment I had you in my arms.  And I was right.”

“So my theory that you’ve been watching me since the day I was born was right, huh?”

He shrugged innocently.  “Persephone usually comes to be when you’ve been reincarnated, and I usually go to check you out,” he grinned.  “You’re not offended, are you?”

“Of course not.  But if you haven’t been pining for Psyche, why have you been so distant lately?”

He sighed.  “I haven’t been pining for her, but I have been searching for her.”

“Why?”

“Well, because you said she was planning on ruining and taking over your life.  I’ve been trying to find her so that I could prevent her from doing just that.  Sometimes I get a lead, but it goes nowhere.  It’s frustrating, actually, since souls like hers don’t just…disappear.  That’s sort of why I’m worried that you don’t remember any of what happened yesterday.”

“Do you think it means something?”

“It might, but I can’t be too sure.  I think this might be a matter to see Persephone about.  She’s more of an expert on souls.”

“She might have a reason why I blacked out?” I asked, surprised.  I hadn’t thought to see Persephone about it.

“She might, or she might have some information on Psyche.  Either way, I don’t think it’d be a bad idea to go.”

I nodded.  “I think you might be right.  Knowing something right now would be great.  I haven’t heard anything in three months, and that makes me worry.”

“Oh trust me, it worries me as well.  Psyche was clever, if you recall, and her having all this time is dangerous.  We should have acted sooner on this, since it might be too late now.  But we might as well go now, anyway.”

I nodded seriously, both happy and worried now.  I wanted answers, and I wanted something to tell my parents about my behavior.  Having them angry with me was worse than having Eros no longer loving me, even if he just told me that wasn’t the case. 

He pulled me into his arms again to give me one more kiss before whisking me back to the Underworld.

Chapter Three

Cupid and Psyche Chapter Four

Chapter Five